Fly or fall?

Food for thought

2007-11-28T12:46:00.000+11:00

I know it's been over two months since my last "proper" entry - partly just laziness I'm afraid, but also quite a few happenings at work. My assignment is galloping to an end; I have mixed feelings about this, but I'll share those after today. This afternoon senior country management is coming to "address our concerns", so the possibilities are that tomorrow I will be either a) feeling much more refreshed and happy, with my faith restored in the good hearts of the people at the top of the NGO power tree, or b) even more deeply mired in cynicism. I'm thinking the latter is more likely, sadly.

And it's not just me - check out some of the artwork that was done recently by camp students here:

It's sad that those at the top don't see these things, but of course they don't. Because - God forbid - that would involve actually going into camp and they might have to talk to camp people. May Hell freeze over first.

Anyway - not everything is bad. I have wonderful friends at work, in camp, around town. I have a great time. The refugees don't want me to leave. That makes me feel really good. In fact, leaving is going to be nigh on impossible. But I'll share some of those reflections when next I write.

Free Burma!

2007-10-04T13:15:00.000+11:00

This is what is happening

2007-10-02T15:22:00.000+11:00

2007-09-10T20:52:00.000+11:00

Well, it’s been an eventful couple of weeks. Be warned, this post is long!

“It will make you strong like a tiger…and you not get fat.”

(So sayeth a general from the Wa National Army, about an enormous bowl of green vegetables placed before me)

I got back yesterday from a weekend in Ban Rak Thai (literally “Thai-loving village”) with a group of friends. Astra, who works at a children’s NGO here in Mae Hong Son, had to go there to interview a family about some children who had applied for places in the shelter where she works; Lu, her assistant, is from there and was going to see his parents; and a bunch of students from the Community Learning Centre in Nai Soi (about 30 minutes out of MHS, on the way to Camp 1) were going home there for the week, so we made a group excursion of it.

Rak Thai is right on the Burmese border, and there is a new Shan/Wa village that is being erected on the other side, with a Wa military camp at the top of a hill nearby. Lu’s father is a general in the Wa National Army (not to be confused with the other Wa militia which is in ceasefire with the SPDC, the Burmese military junta – WNA is definitely NOT in ceasefire with the SPDC) and with these handy connections we were able to go into the new village. There are 18 houses in the village at the moment, and they have applied for permission for more families to move there, as well as being in the process of putting together an application for a new water supply. We spent the day eating, talking and walking with the village head and several of the senior WNA commanders and generals, chatting about war and politics, making jokes, drinking tea, relaxing at the small military camp. From there we could see an SPDC camp a couple of peaks away; it felt kind of odd, seeing such a tangible reminder that “the situation” in Burma really does exist and that it is close – very close.

It’s intriguing to listen to the militia men talk about the conflict. One of the senior men put it like this (roughly paraphrased, of course!): “War is easier than diplomacy. When we fight all we have to do is plan our local strategy, how to protect ourselves, where to go and how to move to achieve our goal. Politics is just so much more complex.”

I confess that up to now, I’ve known very little about the Wa situation. There are so many cultural groups fighting the SPDC that I guess it’s been a little hard to get a grasp on the full extent of the situation. Anyway, my project for the week is to read as much as I can and try and get a better idea of what it’s all about.

Birds, ducks and rats

As I posted last time, we had a situation in Camp 2 a couple of weeks ago with a potential bird flu outbreak. It turned out that in fact the ducks had duck cholera and the chickens had chicken smallpox. It was an instructive experience in that a) it showed me exactly how much of a disorganised flap a large NGO can get into when an actual emergency occur, and b) that the Thai media is just as much of a large gossip machine as any other. We read all sorts of things in Thai newspapers that week – that there were human cases (untrue), apparently 2 people in the camp had died (untrue), over a hundred thousand ducks and chickens had been culled (untrue), and eventually, that the samples sent had tested negative for H5N1 (true). This latter fact I found out from Jen, who had read it in the Bangkok Post in Chiang Mai. Given that I was supposedly the “focal doctor” for “potential human cases”, I would have thought it was reasonable to expect that someone – my boss, perhaps? – might have informed me of the test result. Clearly I expected too much!

Anyway, so we don’t have avian flu and all seems to be well in Camp 2 now. Unfortunately, someone forgot to ram it into the heads of the powers that be (or just my boss, really), and so they are continuing to panic about bird flu stuff whilst the people who actually work IN the camps (including me) are trying to deal with the outbreak of leptospirosis that we currently have in Camp 1.

Border crossing

Before that bird flu stuff (or rather – “not bird flu stuff”) happened I headed up to the Burmese border at Mae Sai (northernmost point of Thailand) to renew my visa.

Mae Sai was a really weird place; a big town (60,000 people, I think) that is basically organised around one enormous, broad road that runs across the border into Tachileik, the Burmese border town. Everyone I’ve talked to about Mae Sai and how weird the atmosphere has said the same thing: “Oh, well it’s a border town, you know”. I guess that’s probably it. It has a weird feeling of transience about it and whilst the people are friendly, it feels much less permanent, much less safe and much less “homey” than everywhere else I have been in Thailand.

The border crossing itself was pretty uneventful. I shopped in the market in Tachileik for a couple of hours while it poured and poured with rain, then I headed back, got my stamp, and hopped back on the bus for the 5 hour trip back to Chiang Mai.

What followed were 3 blissful days in Chiang Mai with the usual suspects, but I won’t write too much about that because there weren’t really any notable stories to tell.

Thoughts on resettlement and opportunity

(NB I don’t think that my views on this have changed at all – more just that they’ve crystallised a little more now that I have the chance to see things first-hand.)

On that first trip I made to Camp 2 a few weeks ago, I spent quite a bit of time sitting with medics (both in the clinic and at the house where I stayed), talking about resettlement. A lot of Camp 2 people have resettled to Finland recently and there are a whole heap of them now waiting for resettlement to Australia.

They all asked me about life in Australia, and what it was like. One of the younger medics – perhaps in his late twenties and very sharp – asked me whether life in Australia was as “sanuk” (translates as fun/enjoyable) as here (or rather, in Camp 2). It’s funny how our first instinct is to say of course life in Australia is better, of course it will be good for you; I think the real answer, however, is that life is NOT as fun, NOT as enjoyable in Australia in many ways. These people will leave their lives behind when they go; they will lose their communities, their status in those communities, their work, their lifestyle and above all, many of them will lose their family and friends. Once a person leaves the camp for resettlement, the chances of them seeing those left behind are pretty much zero, unless those people follow them to the same country. They gain freedom but the trade-off is that they lose so many of the things that fundamentally define who they are – they become displaced all over again.

In the end, resettlement isn’t about “all the refugees going to a better life”, it’s about giving their children back the potential that being refugees takes from them. One thing that has stayed with me and which I still think about, is a chat I had with one of the senior medics. He and his wife are both medics, both very skilled and extremely clever. They have 3 daughters and a baby on the way. We talked about Australia for a while and he seemed a bit apprehensive and conflicted about it all. He paused for a while, and then he said this: “I want to go but I feel very sad. I know that life in Australia will be much harder for my wife and for me. I don’t want to leave my family. But I think it will be good for my children. In Australia, maybe one day my daughters can grow up to be like you.”

The halfway mark

It occurred to me this morning that I’m now halfway through my 7 months in Thailand. I finally feel like I am putting out proper roots in Mae Hong Son, finding friends who have nothing to do with work and give me a welcome respite from the “issews” that plague the work environment here. I’ve already put my work departure date in writing to my boss
(December 21st will be my last day) and I’ve begun to plan what I’ll do over Christmas and New Year. I have my roster for 2008 and I’ve got at least one study buddy for next year (hopefully at some stage soon it will sink in that I actually have to DO this bloody exam).

It’s weird to reflect and realise that more than 8 months of this year have already passed; in some ways I guess that I feel like my year only really started around May, when I began to get myself back on my feet after the difficulties of the first half of the year, and before I knew it – shazam! I landed in Thailand!

I wonder sometimes whether this time here is really going to be the seminal experience that I – and everyone else – thought it would be. I don’t think the lessons that I’m learning are necessarily the ones I thought I would – if anything, those ones I think I perhaps knew already. The moments that stick in my mind are kind of random – for instance, seeing a chicken being hit by a car on the road (the first time I’d ever seen anything killed violently); those kids laughing and walking under an umbrella (see a couple of posts ago); conversations like the one I had with those medics in Camp 2 (see above); the fury and frustration I feel when I see that my boss spent 11,000 baht for “rest and relaxation” whilst at a conference about refugees and aid; sitting at a table on top of a mountain talking to militia generals about war. I guess it will take a while for everything to be integrated into whatever it is my mind will make of it. I do wonder what I’ll remember of these 7 months when I look back in 10 years time.

Above all, I hope that the whole thing makes me…I don’t know, BETTER somehow. It’s kind of foggy at the moment.

And lastly…

This post was brought to you by: “KOALA YUMMIES!”

Hysteria

2007-08-28T19:55:00.000+11:00

This morning I arrived at the office at 8am after having been away for 5 days.

Turns out that while I was away, 50 ducks and 100 chickens unexpectedly died in one section of Camp 2.

[Cue general hysteria and hyperventilation]

It's going to be a busy week. Oh - and we have a big leptospirosis breakout in Camp 1.

Fitter, happier, more productive?

2007-08-18T12:56:00.000+11:00

If there is a bit of sarcasm and scorn in this post, apologies. It has been a tough couple of weeks in the office!

Sweet relief

So I toddled off to Chiang Mai a couple of Fridays ago at lunchtime, not a moment too soon (had been singing "St Petersburg" by Supergrass to myself all week - "...in three days I'll be outta here, and it's not a day too soon..." with time frame modified daily/hourly). I hopped in a taxi and headed straight to Jen and Dave's place; I confess that I spent most of the ride in a flush of excitement and sentimental "ohhh"-ing. So good to be back!

Some desperately needed wine and cheese in Chiang Mai; reunited with Jen and Zach (at the Kate/Seamus/Tyler farewell)
Below: Jen borrowing the gorgeous (and growing) Tyler

Anyway, spent the weekend eating, drinking, shopping and kind of just hanging out with Jen and Zach most of the time. I didn't realise how much work stress had been getting to me - it's not even the stress of the work itself, more of the things going on around work and the general feeling of having spent WAY too much time in the office over the last few weeks. It was great to get away, do some fun stuff, and generally have a relaxing time with people around whom I feel really comfortable.

Now I just have to make said people come to visit me in MHS.

Like a pig in a cage on antibiotics (otherwise known as the office)

Unexpected obstacles continue to pop up at work. Now the other doctor on the team has casually dropped the bombshell that even though he is contracted until May next year, he thinks he might leave late September. Of course, he didn't think to tell us. Brilliant. Perfect timing. 5 weeks into the our intensive 6 month medic training. I pointed out that perhaps in the interests of working in a team and communicating effectively he might have volunteered the information without being asked (I asked him) but the health coordinator (about whom many of you know) went all conciliatory and pacifist and told him it was okay. Now, treating people with respect is one thing, but condoning the shirking of responsibility - I don't know about anyone else, but I think it's really just not on. Sometimes I'm not sure what plane of reality some of the people here live on. There's talk of hiring doctors more or less purely because they speak Burmese, so that "they can translate" - what is the point of hiring a doctor then? hire a translator, sunshine! - trying to make other team members translate in a variety of situations (never mind that they are highly skilled and already work 10 and 11 hour days in their primary jobs, because "we can change their job description")...

I don't know. I really don't know! It just seems that we're not allowed to have valid issues in this office - if someone tries to bring up a problem then the problem must be THEIRS, they must have culture shock or be breaching the code of conduct or have personal problems with others. God forbid there should ever be anything that needs to be fixed or that there should ever be any responsibility or accountability taken for problems. Crazy.

Anyway, despite the cracks that keep appearing, the rest of our little team is going just fine. The workload is pretty huge, but we work well together and I think it'll be okay. Now we're just waiting for news of hopefully 2 more doctors coming sometime in the next 2 months. The sooner the better. Or I hope so, anyway. I guess you never know what sort of people you'll end up with in these situations. I helped to interview a few candidates and it all seemed a bit iffy, but apparently my erstwhile manager plans to employ them nonetheless (when asked about this, all he was able to produce was a lot of mumbling and something about "...and they can help translate." I give up.). I guess all I can do is shrug and get on with it.

In an unexpected cloud/silver lining situation, the disorganisation here looks to be about to work in my favour! Before coming here I was told that my visa renewals would be organised by my local employer. As it turns out, they just haven't quite got it together to do so - so I have to do a border crossing. That is a bit of a pain, but it looks like out of the pain also comes a free trip to Chiang Mai! Hooray!

I cooked this soup in the kettle (the rest of the meal too, but I ate it before having the presence of mind to photograph it) - the first properly Vietnamese food I have eaten since arriving in Thailand; at the local karaoke place all the videos are of Australian scenes (why? who knows?)

Camp 2 is my new true love

Camp work is still good. I did some neonatal training a couple of weeks ago for the midwives which was really good fun, and also involved some highly entertaining lunchtime table tennis matches. I have had a bit more time to just sit and watch camp life go by too (usually when waiting for the trucks to come and pick us up at the end of the day). My favourite time of day is around 4 or 5 in the late afternoon/early evening - it's when all the kids are out running around, playing sport, generally making mischief and reminding me that camp life is exactly that - life. And the more I realise how pragmatic and "get on with it" these people are, and I realise the lengths they have gone to to protect themselves and their family, the more my commitment grows to help them make the best of the situation.

I got back yesterday from my first ever trip to Camp 2 (got my pass last week and went for 2 days) - and baby, I am in LOVE. The surrounds are breathtaking - jungle, jungle, jungle and mountains, streams and creeks, little waterfalls... 2 of the 3 hours it takes to get to the camp is through dense jungle. The road isn't so much unsealed as non-existent - true 4WD territory, lots of driving through river beds (or rivers), over rocks and across creeks. The camp itself is essentially like any other hilltribe village; compared to Camp 1 there is much more space, facilities are better, and it lacks the internal political tension of camp 1 (which has 5 times more people and a different ethnic makeup). "Sabaay, sabaay"... It was a blissful sojourn, really - the medics were so excited, I spent the first day seeing patients they'd been "saving up" for me and on the second day I taught them about skin stuff. They asked heaps of questions, were really interested and enthusiastic. With a cynical eye (me? cynical? about NGOs?) it kind of could be interpreted that where there is less intervention from my employer, the camp functions better. In any case - they love what they are doing, they want to do the best by their community and they are hungry for knowledge.

It's just a pity that the powers that be seem to care a lot less. As long as they meet their donor indicators, right?

These kids were playing at the Camp 2 checkpoint - clearly checkpoints are serious business ;)

Football

Today there was a football tournament in Camp 1 (the big one). One team made up of people from the office, 3 teams of refugees. Looking at all 4 teams lining up next to each other in their colours, it was pretty easy to tell the difference between the refugees and the office boys - the refugees were all much fitter, cooler and generally had it all sorted somehow.

Anyway, so the office boys got beaten 3-1. Hardly surprising.

That's me in the truck, firmly ensconced in my role of ice chest bitch/drinks waitress/barracker (but for the refugees, not for the office team)

Some of the kids who piled in to watch the match

The office boys are in the blue and the refugees in the red. The reds won 3-1 and I believe the office team's single goal may have been scored by the chicken (complete with chick) in the foreground

Me with some of the reproductive health trainees - the girls on either side of me are my table tennis buddies and have come up from a camp on the border in Tak Province

The Dutch phenomenon, and other musings

2007-07-30T15:27:00.000+11:00

Time for the weekly missive...

Work

Work's not bad. Did a week-long intensive block of medic training last week - for the medical nerds amongst you, I taught a full day of skin/hair/nails (by the end of which everyone in the room felt itchy) and a day of heart stuff and heart failure. It's actually really fun teaching the medics - relaxed and interactive. They did well in my exam questions too so it's nice to see that some of the information sticks!

I spent one day out with community health workers doing home visits. Along the way I happened to see a baby (strapped to its mother like all good Karenni babies) who looked like perhaps it wasn't doing all the things it was supposed to do. Probed a bit further - turns out the baby (who is 1 year old now) had a severe bout of something septic when it was one month old. Seems that the doctors in town didn't think to tell the mother of the permanent neurological sequelae and she has been dutifully (and beautifully) - and completely independently - been caring for a baby with severe spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy for the last 11 months. I know that a lot of the differences in medical care and communication in Asia are down to cultural differences, but this one I just cannot fathom. Surely cultural differences are not enough to obviate the need to give parents this type of news?

We (well, me and Komsak, who is now the lynchpin of the clinical health team) can feel a new disability clinic coming on.

The office is - well, it's the office. I haven't been spending much time in it, which is not a bad thing at all. Trying to let the political arrows fly around me is a difficult thing ("What?", you say? "Q finding it difficult to keep her mouth shut? Never!") but disengaging is a fine art that I need to learn. Preferably around now.

Goodbyes
After a week of dancing, eating, laughter and friends, Marlene (ace boss) left last Wednesday.

Marvellous Marlene and medics from camp

We (clinical health team, friends, "adopted family") were all desperately sorry to see her go - the refugees felt it perhaps even more acutely than they did. I hope there are consequences (however karmic) to large organisations in not heeding the requests of the refugees and placing faith in their knowledge of what is best for them.

Stir-crazy

The last week has been good but I'm still itching to get out of town - so Chiang Mai, here I come! I can't wait to see my CM mates, walk down the street without seeing people from work, go out to hilarious clubs (where I can drink something "on the rock"), go shopping, eat whatever I food I want at any time of day or night, hit the night markets, hang out for a few beers... Is two trips in the space of 2 1/2 weeks gratuitous? I think it's just about right, really!

Random musings

I live out the back of a hotel/resort place (see pics of my little bungalow on a lotus pond) and yesterday I braved the resort pool for the first time. I am not exaggerating when I say that there was me, and then there were 30 or 40 Dutch people. That was it. I imagine they must be travelling in a big tour group but I confess it was kind of intimidating. I felt distinctly...not Dutch.

Home, sweet home

It got me thinking about the Dutch tourist thing. I don't think I've ever been somewhere overseas where I haven't met Dutch tourists, generally in groups. The population of the Netherlands isn't that big...so does that mean that about half of its population is travelling at any one time? Or that there is just a core of very very hardcore Dutch travellers? If the latter is true, surely some of the people I'm meeting are people I've met before?

I actually met (as in had a conversation with) a Dutch guy last night. I was sitting in one of the little pavilions over the lake, watching Wat Jong Khum (temple - see pics) all lit up for the start of Buddhist Lent. It was an interesting conversation (only one point of conjecture, which was to do with whether Muslim men in Holland should be expected to shake hands with women in a show of assimilation - I thought not, he thought yes) but the real point of interest was the temple itself - just beautiful!

Wat Jong Khum, lit up for the beginning of Buddhist Lent

There have been several times on this trip when I have wished that I were Buddhist. Sounds kind of simplistic, I know, but true. Last night was another one of those times, as I sat there and watched all the monks and townspeople walking around the perimeter of the temple with their candles and offerings. Of course, the full moon only added to the atmosphere...

Does the dust really settle?

2007-07-20T17:54:00.000+11:00

It's been a while since I last posted, I know. I bet heaps of people have stopped checking for new posts just because they don't appear - that's okay.

Town life

I've been in MHS for nearly 3 weeks now. It's lovely - mountains and lush greenery, pretty lake and friendly people. Having said that, the small town thing has started to wear a bit. I guess when there are fewer than 8000 people in a town, it's to be expected that walking down the street, I run into people I know all the time. Everybody is somehow connected to someone who knows somebody who used to have lunch with another person whose daughter is the wife of someone from work. Fortunately since my last post I've moved out of the revolting place where I was being accommodated by my employer, and into a snug little bungalow on a lotus pond further from town. To be sure, it's part of the largest hotel/resort in MHS, but it's actually pretty secluded and gives me a definite sense of being not at work. Which, given recent events (as well as the hours I've been putting in), is definitely a positive.

People

There is a certain phenomenon amongst travellers that I have come to really despise - the expat pack mentality. What is it about being in a foreign country that automatically means that you are BESTBESTFRIENDS with people you would never have had a 3 line conversation with back home, makes people eat together every day and have the same conversations over and over again, makes it a kind of social default that deadens the brain and numbs the senses? What is it that makes it okay - even funny, sometimes - that a person can have lived or stayed in a country for months and yet be unable to order food in the local language?

Needless to say, I am not a fan.

It isn't all doom and gloom though. I have made a handful of friends who I think are fabulous people, people that I would be friends with back home. They make discovering a new place more of a joy and provide endless stimulating conversations. After the amazingness of my time and my friends in Chiang Mai I wondered if I would meet other like-minded people here. I think I will.

Camp

I got my camp pass about a week and a half ago and have already started training medics and midwives there. The camp looks more or less like a massive hilltribe village, but more cramped and a lot larger (19,000-ish people). Amazing concentration of beautiful babies and children, colours and life and laughter and a general feel of getting on with things. The men play real sport in the camp too - proper, athletic, boisterous sport, not this somewhat affected, don't-mess-up-my hair sport that Thai boys have a tendency to play. That is a generalisation, yes - but not an entirely unfounded one!

Anyway, I got good feedback from my first teaching sessions so hopefully that augurs well for the next 5 months of teaching and training. Even from the limited chances I've had so far to really have a detailed look into the way things go, there's clearly a lot of work to be done on health. I hope I'll be able to get a few things moving and help out.

Desk life is not for me, and some restrained reflections

I've been chained to my desk for the last 4 days. There has been an unexpected - and very unwelcome - shakeup in my team here and suddenly, without notice, we are picking up the pieces after a badly handled situation arose. I'm trying to get the stuff together to do extra trainings next week, and also trying to organise myself to pick up some new and unexpected responsibilities. I guess this was what they meant by telling us we needed to be "flexible". Well, for me and my remaining team members at the moment, "flexible" kind of just means "more work". Oh well.

My team colleagues are fabulous, clever people - perfect examples of great capacity building. It's just a pity that it turns out that internal politics are far more of a problem than cross-border politics where I work, and that amazing success stories such as my talented workmates seem rare. I have some pretty strong views about this, but I won't unleash the diatribe here. Suffice it to say that I am trying valiantly to remember that it is the people in the camp that we are really working for. Organisations are a means by which to get to them. This is all stuff that I knew before coming here, but having it laid bare "in real life" is somewhat different. Potentially pretty disillusioning, but I think trying to stay focused will make it seem less important.

Anyway, I have a new admiration for those out there who work in an office every day. I am going so stir-crazy that I think I might explode. I'm in a bit of a surly mood today and this post probably reflects that. It has been a frustrating and difficult week; as of next week I'll be in the camp most of the time, though, so I think that will be a good thing. And a good few hours of sitting alone by the lake with a good book will definitely help. Thank goodness for the weekend!

Getting used to being useful again

2007-07-08T20:29:00.000+11:00

I've been here a week now and fortunately it didn't take too long to find things to do. Without a camp pass I can't do anything hands-on (frustrating but hopefully very temporary) but I've been writing neonatal management guidelines for the training I'll do later on, talking to reproductive health about what I should be training the midwives to do, and I'm now waiting for community health to tell me what exactly it is that they do so that I can add stuff. Hopefully I'll have a temporary camp pass by Tuesday. People tell me not to hold my breath though. Blah.

My desk at work - I share an office with about 15 others

Other than that, I have been getting to know MHS - not too hard as it's not very big! My digs are not exactly salubrious (in fact, they kind of suck) so I've just started looking for something more permanent. It'll be a relief when all the practical stuff is done and I can just get on with things work-wise.

Dried fishy delicacies at the Sunday Market

In terms of social life - there are lots of Thais, lots of Burmese, lots of hilltribe people and LOADS of expats working here. I'm trying not to fall into the expat pack mentality which pervades most places - in the long run it is just frustrating and creates barriers to getting to know local people and customs properly. It's a delicate balance - I'll have to see how it goes. One thing is for certain though - I have to be really strict about practising my Thai as I already feel that it's slipping a bit.

Marlene, me, Naomi, Inbal

We (ace boss, ace reproductive health boss, ace new friend) went karaoke-ing on Friday night. The bar was outstandingly 80s. It looked like something from an early Tom Cruise movie, complete with veneered bar, chrome fittings and red disco ball. We had a Thai vs English (language) karaoke-off with 3 locals who were there - it was just us and them. I'm thinking that my rendition of "Have I told you lately that I love you" probably didn't help our cause, although "Love is all around" complete with backing vocals and whoas may have redeemed us a bit.

80s extraordinaire tacky karaoke bar (rivals on right hand side)

The week ahead, with luck, will involve me starting to train people in the camps, finding permanent accommodation, and getting generally set up. I'll keep you posted.

The next new start

2007-07-03T13:15:00.000+11:00

I spent Saturday on Doi Pui (nearby mountain) near a Hmong hilltribe, planting trees with Jenny’s workmates and a few of our mates. It was pretty big – about 10,000 seedlings and scores of journalists. Picturesque setting too – high up on a mountain ridge with mountains and forest all around. It probably would have been even better had we not all gone out the night before and finished up with massive greasy burgers (my first in months) at 1am. The subsequent 7:30am start was character-building. Right?

Fish in the pond/pool thing at Warm Up (bar); Zach and Jen

"Kraff" of wine, anyone? Or perhaps something "on the rock"?

Me and Leah; Zach's enormous "cheesy mushroom double burger", consumed at 1am

Anyway, after the tree-planting I stayed at Benchawan’s, met her husband and two terrific sons, ate loads of food and gossiped. The next morning they dropped me at the airport, and thus ended my blissful 5 weeks in Chiang Mai.

The view from our tree-planting site was really not bad

So here I am in Mae Hong Son, where it is sunny and pouring with rain in equal measures. It’s a lovely little place – I live about 100 metres from the lake, which is a pretty tranquil spot with a beautiful temple overlooking it. There are thickly forested mountains around the perimeter of town, and in the mornings the mist weaves its way between the peaks, the lake and temple sort of glimmer, and it’s all a bit magical, really. The town itself has just under 8000 people, so it’s not exactly your buzzing metropolis, but there’s a bit going on. Everything is within walking distance and I have found the essentials – food places, roti trolleys, soy milk vendors and market – already.

Yesterday I started work and it was all a bit of a boggle! In the morning Aor, who is the new pharmacy supervisor, and I were introduced to about 50 people (it’s a very crowded headquarters!) in about oh, 20 minutes. The staff are a mix of Thai, Burmese, Karenni/Karen and expats. They’re very keen on three letter acronyms – GBV, VCT, LAC, something something something. Most of the jobs have the sort of titles that make you say, “Oh right!” but then 3 seconds later think, “…but what does that MEAN?”. I’m sure there is a system to it all, though.

Anyway I had a lengthy meeting with my boss, Marlene, and the other doctor who works there (who is Burmese) and we nutted out some more details of what has been going on and what Marlene is hoping I’ll be able to do while I’m here.

The real details are very different from the extremely vague job description that has been bandied around for the last 6 months, and is sooooooo much better! My title is “medical trainer” and to that end I will certainly be doing some block training for a new crop of refugee medics coming up. The exciting part, however, is that Marlene would like my main project to be to devise a system of integrated assessment and management of paediatric patients, from birth onwards. It’s quite a task – we administer the health care for 2 camps, one of which has 19,000 refugees and the other nearly 4000. There are 2 main clinics in the larger camp and one in the smaller one; reproductive health is currently entirely separate (and as such the babies who are unwell at birth do not come to the attention of our doctors and medics until much later, if they are transferred to town); there is no organised liaison with the paediatric services in town; and community health, which does a lot of the public health, case finding and surveillance, is sort of…well, apparently it’s hard to know WHAT they’re doing!

So this looks like being my job. I am so stoked with it – I never thought it would turn into something so tailored to my interest. I’m hoping it’ll be the perfect combination of paeds, refugee health and public health. But we’ll see – there is plenty of politics to contend with by the sounds of things, and I haven’t even started yet!

(Well, I started writing congenital heart disease and neonatal jaundice guidelines today. But that’s barely a start – plus I am still waiting for my camp pass.)

Anyway, so I emailed uni about all of this and they reckon I should write a 15,000 word project for 4 subjects’ worth of credit. Bonus!

Last days in Chiang Mai

2007-06-29T19:22:00.001+11:00

Since the last time I posted,

Gordon Brown has become England's new Prime Minister
Robert Mugabe has made more crazy threats, this time to seize foreign firms in Zimbabwe
Dave not only got out of bed before 9am, but made it to breakfast with me and Zach at 20 past 7
I have discovered that I will actually, rooly, trooly have a proper job, and that it sounds super duper exciting and busy

Chiang Mai clouds at sunset

After all the months of wondering exactly what I would be doing in Thailand, I met my new boss on Tuesday night. We had a long discussion about work and the situation, and where nebulousness reigned before, excitement now prevails! It looks like I will get a major project for my MPH out of this as well (now I just have to apply, find a supervisor, write a research proposal - blah) and to boot I am really hoping - and am now optimistic that - I will be able to do some work which will continue to bring some returns after I have left, and provide a base for others to follow. I'll write a bit more about the specifics once we have nutted them out a little more - probably over the next few weeks.

This morning I had my Thai end-of-course exam. It was supposed to take 3 hours but I finished by 10 so we spent the rest of the morning fine-tuning the lesson notes for next weeks' new intake of students and then went out for massive luxe buffet lunch. I am really sorry to be leaving the language centre - I have had such a good time with them over the last 5 weeks, I'd forgotten what a joy it is to learn a new language and all the girls there are so much fun. I'm hopeless at goodbyes so I kind of just slipped out after thanking everyone quickly and hoped that nobody would be offended.

Tonight we're going out and then tomorrow I'll be in a hilltribe village somewhere planting trees. Tomorrow night I'm staying at Benjawan's, and then that's it - Sunday is the big move!

I'm so glad that I managed to meet my boss before going; when I last posted I was just feeling sad about leaving Chiang Mai, and it was hard to get excited about the next step when I had no idea what it was about. Now that I know a bit more, I'm looking forward to this next chapter for whatever it is to bring, and it's kind of revitalised my commitment and passion in what I came here to do.

Who knows? Maybe sometime soon I might have something interesting to say!

Life in Thailand, part 2: Bangkok

2007-06-26T15:20:00.000+11:00

My flight landed at Suvarnabhumi (pronounced, "Soo-ahn-a-poom") Airport about 30 minutes late, and I was left rueing that I hadn't listened to the dodgy looking middle-aged farang-who-lives-in-Thailand guy who told me, in the check-in line, to try and just take my small suitcase on the plane as hand luggage. It took 55 minutes for the first bag to appear on the carousel. Apparently (that word again!) Suvarnabhumi is notorious for that. Store it away for next time.

On the way to Chiang Mai airport I had been pretty stoked, because I had my most successful exchange in Thai EVER. The taxi driver and I chatted quite merrily for the whole 20 minutes and I didn't lapse into English once. Good, right? I don't know what happened to my brain during that 1 hour flight though, because during the 20 minute ride to my hotel in Bangkok, I struggled to understand anything the driver said in his thick Southern accent.

I've never been to Bangkok before. In fact, it's been a long time since I was in a truly modern, fully industrialised Asian city - maybe not since China, and that was nearly 10 years ago. Bangkok is a massive, pulsing metropolis, with tangled expressways cutting swathes across endless twinkling lights, impressive traffic jams and equally impressive smog.

The view from my hotel room; the Skytrain pulling into the station

My digs were pretty plush. I'm not used to staying in such places and to be honest I'm not sure that I felt comfortable about it (Thais opening doors for me, pressing lift buttons for me, bringing things to my room, etc) but it was nice. Spacious room, cable TV, plus I managed to dodge paying exhorbitant prices for the hotel wireless network and found free WiFi through my mobile phone company.

I headed out after breakfast on Saturday, crossed the road, and found myself in a big square slap bang in the centre of the highest concentration of massive shopping malls I have ever seen! Heaven. Amazingly, even earlyish on a Saturday morning, the traffic was bumper-to-bumper with the usual Thai traffic chaos being controlled (with variable effect) by shouting traffic police. The central Skytrain station is right near here so there is activity everywhere - above, below, around. Lots of sensory stimulation.

I like cities.

Spent the day with my friend Gam (my roommate at a conference back in 2000) and a bunch of her friends. Whilst wandering on my own for a while in the afternoon, I stumbled across what appears to have been a huge highschool scrabble tournament. Also saw lots of Thai popstars performing at stages in and around the shopping malls. I didn't know who they were, but I squealed along with all the other girls, just for fun. On Sunday we went to Chatuchak Market, which is impressive in both size and also for being one of the hottest places I have ever been. Melting.

Embarrassing "Q is an idiot" story for the week: I'd bought a dress on the Saturday at a small boutique in Siam, and was wearing it at Chatuchak. We found the stall where the designer sells a few of her things on weekends, where it was pointed out by the girl working there that I was wearing the dress back to front. Niiiiiiiiiiice.

Anyway, overall my Thai shopping vocabulary ("Lot iik daay may? Phaeng maak maak!" - semi-weird phonetic spelling, nobody knows how to romanise Thai, Thais included) has improved immensely and I've got to know just a little bit of the big city. I'll have to go back there sometime.

So that was my little taste of Bangkok. Or rather, Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit. Unsurprisingly, Thais shorten it to "Krung Thep" ("City of Angels"). Whatever you want to call it, it was like a different planet.

The most surprising thing - and it felt kind of odd - was what happened when I arrived back in Chiang Mai. I was sitting in the taxi, chatting to the driver, and I had this funny feeling in my stomach; I realised that it felt like I was coming home. In the evening I headed out to the Sunday "walking street" (night market) for the last time with Zach and Jenny, and ambling along those crowded streets with all the lights, the laughter and the banter, made me realise that even though I've only been here for a month (a month tomorrow!) I am already beginning to leave things that I love behind. And I have been here long enough now to realise that Chiang Mai is not about the Night Bazaar or the elephant shows or the rooftop bars near Tha Phae Gate or the cooking schools. It's about the easygoing people, chatting with random vendors, the relaxed feel, the balmy nights, the crazily varied food, walking for 10 minutes and being in the forest, quiet afternoons in airy, spacious temples, buying soy milk at the same trolley every night, the insane motorbike drivers, the feeling that even though things are changing, this is still a place with a soul.

Ugh - so soppy!

View of the walking street from atop Tha Phae Gate; a random truck full of dragonfruit

Clearly, I'm feeling pretty reluctant to leave next weekend. But I'm here to start a job, and I really am excited about doing that. Tonight I have a meeting with the doctor I'll be working with - she has a whole host of projects and work she'd like me to consider. It's nice that others have given it so much thought.

Milestones: two big and bad, one small and good

2007-06-19T22:06:00.000+11:00

Today is Daw Aung Sung Suu Kyi's 62nd birthday, her 18th since first being placed under house arrest in 1989 and her 5th since being re-arrested in May 2003.

The UNHCR has reported that refugee numbers are up for the first time in 5 years, largely due to the Iraq war.

This blog notched up its 1000th hit today (and it's not counting my own pageloads!).

Edit: Also, apparently we had an earthquake here in Chiang Mai today, measuring 4.something on the Richter scale. I was eating lunch. Found out about 2 hours later.

Life in Thailand, part 1: Hilltribe Village

2007-06-17T23:17:00.000+11:00

I got back today after spending a couple of nights in a Karen (largest hilltribe in Thailand, live here and in Burma, in the mountainous border regions) village. I don't know what I expected; this is a bit cynical of me but I thought that "homestay" might be pushing it a bit, and that perhaps it'd be sort a bit human zoo-like (as I keep hearing the Padaung - long-neck Karen - villages are). I was wrong, thankfully.

The village has about 20 houses, 100 or so people including about 20 kids of primary school age or younger. To get there, we drove about 2 hours out of Chiang Mai, up into the mountains and deep into Khun Chae National Park. There was an almost-hidden turn-off somewhere, and then a 2km, very bumpy stretch of unmade road down to the village which was completely hidden in the jungle.

We got there and were welcomed by one of the village leaders, had a brief chat, and then had the afternoon to get ourselves settled and check out the village, which didn't take us very long - it wasn't very big! The kids eyed us off curiously, relinquished some of the fruit they were munching on (having pulled it off nearby trees) and then ran away giggling.

Nephew of the village chief; weeding around rice shoots; stepped rice paddies

In the evening we sat in the village chief's house (turns out the guy we talked to at the beginning was the brother of the chief - the whole village is like a sort of extended family) and he told us a bit about the way they live. There has been a bit of tension between the hilltribe population (not just the Karens) and the Thai Government regarding issues of conservation. I guess this is inevitable; the hilltribes are rotational farmers and traditionally have farmed the land for a period (which varies between weeks and years), before moving on to the next bit of land/next temporary village and doing it all again. With the conservation movement becoming more prominent, striking the balance seems to have been a little tricky - but overall it seems to be working for this village in particular at the moment.

In terms of "mod cons", the town has its own drinking water supply that comes from rain-water and also from the stream. The rest of the water supply is pumped directly from the stream, and they have a limited electricity supply from small solar panels arranged randomly in good spots around the village. During the rainy season they generally don't have any electricity at all. They eat the food that they farm - their own rice, fruit, vegetables, meat, eggs. The kids go to a little school in the village which sorts them out for primary school, then have to go further away for secondary. Their curriculum includes Thai language, their own language, culture, practices and agricultural methods, as well as the other "usual" stuff. The girls marry around the age of 20, men around 30. There are a few now going to study at tertiary level further away.I'm not sure what this will mean for the life of the village in the long-term - I guess it's an inevitable change with the times.

On Saturday we went hiking, Thai-style. The guides we had with us (two girls and a guy, the latter seemed to be with us mostly for comic relief and to drive the ute) kept saying, "How far can you walk? It depends on you. Can you walk 1 hour? 2 hours? 4 kilometres? 5 kilometres?". Leah (American girl who came too) and I said, "Oh, we can walk as far as you like - 5 or 6 kilometres is fine, further is fine too."

As it turned out, Saturday's schedule ended up consisting of: 1 hour walk, stopping at bamboo shelter overlooking rice paddies for 3 hours while snacking, then having a nap, then eating lunch, walking 1 hour back. The "timetable" for Saturday had us returning to the village from the fields at about 5pm. We got back at 1:15 and then played with the kids all afternoon. In the evening we were supposed to have another chat with the village leader but all the village inhabitants were totally preoccupied with trying to fix the satellite/antenna thing outside the chief's house so that they could all crowd inside, watch TV and drink beer. So we played cards late into the evening instead.

Picnic, village-style; our new friends (the woman in the background is wearing traditional hilltribe dress)

Flowers from the girls (the boys gave us a lime!); a sign nailed to the wall of the village school

Yesterday we left the village behind in the morning and had breakfast at Cabbages & Condoms. This is a fascinating franchise that has had quite a lot of success in spreading the safe sex message around Thailand - Here's a link that gives you a bit of an idea, although this is about the original Bangkok flagship. The food is good, too.

After having not slept at all for a couple of nights (mice, heat, mosquitoes) I crashed out when I got home and then went out for dinner with friends, then to the walking street (vibrant, busy night market, different from the horrible soulless cesspit that is the Night Bazaar) for the third Sunday in as many weeks. Ate a few things, thought about buying lots of things, came home with just a bag of mangoes.

Life's not bad.

Next weekend, part 2: Bangkok.

The 2 1/2 week itch

2007-06-14T23:28:00.000+11:00

Phil left yesterday morning, so the whirlwind of activity (and consequent heat rash :((((() has died down considerably. I spent yesterday evening slacking off in my room with the aircon on, eating large amounts of food. It was even medically indicated - a certain dermatology registrar told me that the best way to get rid of my itchy scourge (sounds so appealing, I know) was to sit in air conditioned rooms as much as possible.

Don't worry, I am not going to post pics of the rash. Ew. Suffice it to say I looked like I was wearing a massive red collar. Grosssssss. If someone gave me a choice between having that rash again and death, I would pick death. Hands down. Nothing to make one long for death more than itch - although perhaps itch PLUS hunger, constipation and cold?

Photographic examples of bad Thai soap. I wish I'd had the camera out when the weird bat-thing made the girl in the middle go demonic with red glowing eyes. Note the royal insignia in the top left corner of the screen.

I'm off to a hilltribe village about 2 hours away tomorrow for a 3 day/2 night hilltribe homestay. Nong (marketing manager at the language centre with wickedly sarcastic - esp for a Thai girl - sense of humour) has decided to come along "just for fun". We have a pack of cards at the ready. It's going to be good. PLUS it will offer some night-time respite from the heat (she says, with the aircon thermostat set at 23 degrees); they told me to bring a jacket.

I don't even have a jacket!

My weekends are pretty much all filled now. This weekend it's this trip, the weekend after that I'm flying to Bangkok to see my friend Gam (a doctor working in Nakhon Si Thammarat, we met at a conference years and years ago) and then the weekend after that I'm planning to spend a day planting trees on a mountain (one of the AYADs is getting a group together for her work) before moving my little Thai life 350km west, to Mae Hong Son.

What happens then is a complete mystery. The more questions I ask re job, the more nebulous and brief the answers become. This is a strange aid world phenomenon. Maybe I won't be training medics. Maybe it's all a big conspiracy. Who knows?

Anyway, I'm in good spirits, no doubt assisted by resolution of the itch that was stealing hours of sleep earlier in the week. I'm sure the calamine, local anaesthetic cream, antihistamines and topical steroids did nothing whatsoever to assist, but they made me feel like I was doing something. Because I'm like, a doctor, right?

Poodles, elephants, oxen, waterfalls - just your average weekend

2007-06-11T19:33:00.000+11:00

Be warned: extremely long and picture-ful post ahead.

Sorry for being slack; Phil arrived on Thursday and despite (or perhaps) my worry that he might not find enough things to do, we have been going pretty much non-stop for his entire visit so far. As I type he is trekking in the jungle. Probably with leeches. Gross.

Anyway, he is dutifully eating - even enjoying! - everything on offer and has become quite obsessed with banana rotee. Although really - who can blame him? Such sugary, buttery, gooey, banana-y goodness.

The tale of a little red dog, a restaurant on a mountain, and a big night out, Thai-style

I thought that Phil might like to meet some of the friendly and funny expats I've met since I got here, so we arranged to meet up with Zach, Jenny and Dave after dinner on Friday night. Before hitting the town with them, Phil and I headed up Doi Suthep to a restaurant halfway up the mountain. Lucky songthaews are manual vehicles - I'm not sure an auto could get up there on the winding and extremely steep roads. The restaurant had a spectacular view over all of Chiang Mai, as well as having an extremely attractive lake directly below the verandah where we were seated (by candlelight - very noice). The food was spectacular, and they had what I would describe as a Thai country and western (but quite versatile) live band who knew just about every cheesy 60s, 70s and 80s ballad you can think of. There was also a clown (why? who can say?) who roamed the restaurant making balloon animals. He was so cool that he like, didn't even need to look at what he was doing.

He gave me a red poodle.

After dinner we met up with the others at a club/bar/pub type place called Warm Up - massively popular haunt of Chiang Mai Uni students. My prudish opinions regarding sartorial appropriateness in Asia were sorely tested - these girls wear the smallest skirts, the tiniest tops and the highest heels I've ever seen! There was was in my hidjus, hidjus silver plastic shoes, long trousers and new top (might I say in my defence, a very Karen Walker-esque blouse), feeling oddly - well, Amish, in my modesty. Anyway, we downed a few drinks in the "New Age Lounge" whilst Ole (Danish, 6 foot 6 and a bit) mutilated my poor poodle and much merriment was had.

After that we went to another place called the Monkey Club. There was a live band playing; they were clearly very famous because it was PACKED and everyone knew the words to every song. We didn't know the words, and Phil and Ole were about 3 heads taller than everyone else, but we jumped up and down and sang along (words? who needs words?) anyway.

On the way home I had little pork dumplings. Who wouldn't love a country where you can get delicious food at 2:30am?

I am too old for this

On the way home from our big Friday night Phil and I had raved enthusiastically that, "Hey, it doesn't feel late at all! This is easy!". Then we got up at 8 the next morning to go to elephant camp. (This one time, at elephant camp...) Actually, to start with we were fine.

The elephant camp at Mae Taeng was probably the most touristy place I'll go to in my entire time in Thailand (Benjawan says that Thai people never go to the elephant camps, of which there are many in this region) but it was amaaaaazing! They are such beautiful, intelligent creatures; enlarge the pic of the elephant in front of the easel to reveal his painting in all its glory, complete with his name signed across the bottom of the bunch of flowers that he painstakingly painted in front of a live audience. He can also paint elephants. Like, pictures of elephants.

We rode an ox cart through breathtaking jungle, mountain and pastoral scenery (green, green and more green), then we rode an elephant (we decided ours was a dissident elephant - much cooler than the others, making her own path through most of the trail) then, after lunch, hopped on a bamboo raft and floated peacefully down the river through lush jungle. Well, peacefully apart from the bits where Phil was trying to steer the raft.

Then we went to an orchid farm - by this stage I was falling asleep in the car, thence home for a long nap.

Yesterday we were both still exhausted, despite 9 hours of sleep overnight and our siesta the day before. Tragically we had to drag ourselves out of bed to go to a waterfall, so off we went to Mae Wang, to a beautiful and not-infested-with-tourists waterfall amidst more lush jungle. Phil went swimming, but I was too self conscious to strip down to my togs in front of young Thai men who were already looking at me curiously. Hmmm.

We popped in at a Karen (largest hilltribe in Thailand) village, where the cows roam free, the houses and huts are built the way they've done it for a hundred years and where, despite the traditional lifestyle, there are still satellites to pick up cable tv so that everyone can clamber around the television to watch Thai boxing.

We also went to an artisan village. Phil bought a bowl.

Monday - an unfortunate realisation

Had a massive sleep last night, and I toddled off to my Thai classes this morning whilst Phil and Jaran went off to trek in the jungle somewhere. As you do.

Thai has been quite easy until now. Today I started learning to read and write Thai script. There are 44 consonant characters alone.

Bugger!

No problem!

2007-06-06T23:56:00.001+11:00

This afternoon after I finished my language classes (they're becoming more and more casual; we study the hardcore stuff in the morning, then go out for lunch to a different place each day and then return for the afternoon class which then involves mostly chatting about food - to be fair, we chat mostly in Thai!) I braved the afternoon heat and took a songthaew (I don't know how to anglicise Thai - and I can't get the symbols for phonetics) up Nimmanhemin Rd, which is one of the trendier parts of town. It's outside of the old town, very close to Chiang Mai Uni, so there are heaps of trendy places to eat and drink, bars, pubs, and stylish boutiques and shops. Also the requisite restaurants and food trolleys, naturellement. Anyway, that was fun - and then I came home and stuffed myself stupid.

Yesterday in the afternoon I went on a bit of a tour around a few places. Went up to the Hilltribe Museum, which was really interesting - fascinating cultures. I'm doing a homestay with a hilltribe family (not sure which tribe) starting Friday week for 3 days, so that's something to look forward to. Then Jaran (guide) took me to a nearby town which is artisan central - silk, silver, jewellery, umbrellas, leathergoods, lacquerware - you name it! Jaran is really cool - he's the guide who has been a singer, a barber, a teacher, a tourguide, etc. His answer to every request is, "No problem!" and it's pretty much been true so far.

Hello silkwormies; they eat and eat and then work hard to make these nice cocoons; then the poor buggers get boiled to spin thread for Q's wardrobe.

Tomorrow morning Phil arrives and in honour of this great occasion I went to Kasem (grocery place that sells some Western stuff) and bought some Coopers, as well as stocking the fridge with fruit. I'm not sure yet exactly what we're going to do - have some sketchy ideas.

Phil wants to ride an elephant. I told Jaran this and he said - you guessed it - "No problem!".

Benjawan (Thai teacher) asked me today what I thought the reason was for Thailand having so many ladyboys.

I said I didn't know. She asked if it was chromosomal. I said, probably not.

More rain

2007-06-05T01:08:00.000+11:00

It's pouring with rain again - lightning, thunder, BBC World and CNN down, channel showing the tennis down. The latter is a particular bummer - I was enjoying watching Lleyton Poowit being beaten by someone younger and better than him. Quite well-timed, though - it didn't start raining until after I returned to my room with my dinner haul.
Didn't get up to anything too exciting today - went to Thai classes, had lunch with Kate, Seamus, Tyler (the beautiful baby) and Benjawan (Thai teacher), talked about food in Thailish with Benjawan most of the afternoon (this passed as learning, I think) and then headed home. It's so hot in the afternoons at the moment that it's hard to go anywhere without drowning in sweat and becoming really listless. Kate and Seamus' Thai friends and acquaintances are horrified that they're out and about with the baby so soon - she's supposed to be confined for a month! Why are you letting her out?! Your baby will get sick! Naturally, both mother and baby are perfectly fine - serene, even.

I've been generally more chipper today - I guess I was right yesterday, the ups and downs are probably just part and parcel of the adjustment process. I'm not used to spending so much time on my own, so it's a fairly steep learning curve. Thank goodness for Skype - I still find it vaguely unbelievable that it's free! Things are slowly falling into place here. I'm more familiar with getting around (in songthew, which are the main mode of public transport here), my "essentials" in Thai are improving, Phil's coming to visit on Thursday, plus Zach (American guy who understands irony and sarcasm, unbelievable) is moving into a place nearby in the next couple of days.

Noted with interest that Charles Taylor's trial in The Hague started today. 18 months, they reckon.

What's happening back home?

Downtime

2007-06-04T03:06:00.000+11:00

Had a bit of an up and down weekend - probably to be expected given the move, the weather, the adjustment, the end of the first week, being by myself in a new country, etc. Had a very farang morning yesterday - scrambled eggs for breakfast, Western grocery store - and then spent the afternoon variously napping, talking to friends back home, writing emails, perusing my new map of Chiang Mai, that sort of thing. Last night I went out for dinner with a couple of expats which was not bad - I think everyone was sort of a bit tired though. We wanted to have a couple of beers after dinner (perfect beer weather - this from a strictly wine girl!) but couldn't quite find a place to our specifications, and somehow ended up at a bar in the red light district (no skimpily clad girls chorusing, "Sawadee kha" in suggestive tones at the place we went though). I guess it's good to go there once, if only for future reference (ie to avoid at all costs hereafter).

Today I slept in and wandered down the street around lunchtime, got the world's largest takeaway pad thai and struggled through it here - it took me two goes in the end. A fairly famous temple in the forest is about 1km from where I'm staying so I walked up there this afternoon. They have talks by foreigner monks on Sunday afternoons so I was hoping for a bit of interesting discussion but in the end the session was monopolised by weird, new-agey American tourists asking odd questions, answered very nebulously by one of the monks (I wanted to know what the other one had to say!) and so I left and watched the fish in the lake for a while instead, before meandering home.

Tonight I hit one of the "walking markets" - not the famed Night Bazaar, but loads of fun nonetheless. Brightly lit stalls as far as the eye can see, cheerful sellers, lots of Thai people as well as farang, lots of chat, sooooo much food and just lots of colour and buzzing activity. Had good company too, which always helps, and then wound down with a beer at the end of the night. My head has been spinning with a million things, so a cruisy evening of talking and wandering was probably just the right tonic.

On a completely different note, last night as I was walking home I saw The. World's. Biggest. Centipede. crossing the road in the dark. I thought it was a piece of debris until I realised it was moving. Seriously, it was the width of my thumb and nearly my hand-span in length. I was going to take a photo, but it was dark and I thought it might eat me.

Back to school tomorrow.

Weekend

2007-06-02T17:34:00.000+11:00

Last night I met up with the other AVIs (and one of the world's most gorgeous 10 day old babies) for dinner and drinks - kind of weird initially to be in a big group of expats, but they were all great and it was a fun night. We went out for Italian (oddly it was really pretty good), downed some coloured cocktails and many beers before moving on to some bar somewhere nearby (with lots of NGO workers) that had good cocktails and a couple of the cutest cats I've ever seen.

So this morning I tried valiantly to sleep in (not with a lot of success) and then met up with one of the other girls who took me on an "essentials" tour of this side of Chiang Mai and also out for breakfast. I ate scrambled eggs and have been feeling vaguely heavy and a bit sick since then - I think buttered toast and eggs are just a bit weightier than the food I've been eating. Anyway, I'm quite tired so I'm planning to spend the afternoon in my room napping, writing, examining my new map and hopefully motivating myself to do some Thai study. Tonight I'm heading out for dinner with another couple of expats I met last night and tomorrow - I'm not sure yet. Maybe a massage, maybe the Sunday market, maybe lazing, maybe going to a talk at a nearby temple. The options are endless. If only my energy were similarly so!

As a postscript to the air conditioner situation I posted the other day - as promised, 3 repair type men knocked on my door on Thursday afternoon and marched into my room with their toolboxes. They turned on the aircon, opened their eyes wide in wonder at the racket, then turned it off and walked out of the room, never to be seen again.

Apparently it's getting fixed on Monday by an "air conditioner specialist service man".

And the rain kept pouring down

2007-05-31T23:52:00.000+11:00

So the Democratic party escaped unscathed but Thai Rak Thai is to be dissolved, and its 111 party executives (including Thaksin, of course) have been banned from politics for 5 years. They had 13,000 armed police at the ready but apparently all was peaceful in BKK last night - some are speculating that this might change over the next couple of days but I guess it'll be a wait and see type of proposition. The end of the ruling didn't come until after 11pm last night. I guess judges work later in Thailand.

Anyway.

We spent today at temples - 3 of them to be exact. They were really quite extraordinary and each very different from the next. Today also happened to be Buddha's birthday, so with >90% of Thailand's population being Buddhist, it was pretty huge, especially in the morning at Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, which is the most popular of Chiang Mai's temples (of which there are many). Of course there was also the usual contingent of tourists too, so cameras were clicking everywhere, there were flowers and garlands, incense, children, shoes, prayers...

It was much more peaceful at the other two temples, although there were people quietly making food, floral arrangements and decorations for this evening's festivities. I'm not religious, but I had the feeling - one I've often had when visiting Buddhist temples - that were I to enter a religion, Buddhism would be it. I'm not sure how much of this is because of my cultural background and the resultant familiarity with the rituals and practices, but I do think a large part of it (apart, obviously, from my agreement with Buddhist principles) is the feeling that I would find a way to make it relevant to me, something that I don't feel about other organised religions.

Our guide for the day was a guy who spent 15 years as a monk, before his two older brothers died of HIV and he was forced to leave the monkhood to look after his mother. In the 10 years since then he's been a barber, a singer, a tourguide, a driver - a true jack of all trades. But he really wishes he could have remained a monk for life. He was a great guide.

It's now been raining for about 3 hours. It started the usual way - lightning, thunder, sheets and sheets of torrential rain. I was forced to resort to two minute noodles for dinner because it was too wet to go out in search of food. I am mourning the loss of a fabulous meal I will never be able to eat again.

And both BBC World and CNN are down.

My day in pictures

2007-05-31T21:29:00.001+11:00

Judgement Day

2007-05-30T20:50:00.000+11:00

The whole of Thailand (or from what I can tell, anyway) is edgy today, waiting to find out the verdict of the Constitutional Tribunal ruling about the future of the two biggest political parties in the country - basically, whether they will be compulsorily dissolved or not. It's nearly 5pm here and still no decision. Waiting, waiting...

I'll post more later.

EDIT:

I'm too tired to write much. The rest of my day consisted of rice with grilled chicken, rose apple, dragonfruit, iced tea, dessert taufoo in ginger syrup, Skype conversation, and shortly to include crashing in bed. Tomorrow we're going up Doi Suthep (mountain) to see two temples. Might ask about meditation courses too.

Asia Hunger

2007-05-29T12:10:00.000+11:00

I have been here for 2 days now and my Asia Hunger is settling in rapidly. Asia Hunger is the state of being hungry all the time (Phil, if you are reading this - withhold your laughter) despite eating all the time. Yesterday I ate:

a bowl of noodle soup
a bag of pineapple
some rice chips
a plate of more noodles and more noodles
a massive cup of grass jelly drink
a bag of dragonfruit
rice
about 10 different dishes with that rice
fruit

Add to that about 3 litres of water, and I think that's quite substantial - but I would have been quite happy to eat again before bedtime. This morning I've had breakfast and a cup of tea already, but I'm already thinking about lunch. In fact it is all I can do to resist making myself some instant noodles before I go to classes.

Inexplicably, I have found in the past that despite the presence of Asia Hunger, Asia makes me thinner. Worms? Genetics? Who knows?

I started Thai language classes yesterday. I'm finding the pronunciation and grammar (what grammar?) quite easy, but I hate that stiltedness when first learning a new language, just having to think about each word so hard before saying it! Plus there is waaaaaay too much vocab to pick up. Still - yesterday was the first lot of 4 hours in a course of 120 hours' total language training, so surely by the end of June I should be able to get by. I think it's about trying to think in Thai. The slowness is in the mental translation.

I have a bruised head. The right hand side of my forehead is bruised because I got hit on the head with a metal tray on Friday night at Tutto Bene, and the back of my head is bruised because I got butted by a wooden goat last night at dinner. Don't ask.

Oops - I'm off to Thai classes now. I'll write more and post some photos tonight.

EDIT: (after finishing classes)

God I have eaten so much already today. I think about food all the time. It's as if I'm worried I won't find my next meal or something. Oh well. It's all good.

This morning we went to the main market in Chiang Mai (not the night bazaar, but the biggest market here) as part of our "cultural orientation". It was great - I picked up more essentials like a rain poncho, knife, more fruit (rambutans, jackfruit and mangosteens - weep, people, WEEP), jasmine tea. I'm pretty much all set up here now with the little things I need (particularly in relation to feeding myself). My only real complaint is that yesterday my air conditioner inexplicably started to make an alarmingly loud, ratchety noise whenever turned on. It still seems to cool, but I keep thinking it might be on the verge of exploding. Or something.

A few of my new "essentials" - note matching Hello Kitty mug and fork/spoon set; this air conditioner looks harmless enough but turn it on and it produces a whirring, squeaking, percussive, ratchety cacophony.

I'm particularly interested in comparing Chiang Mai with my experiences in Vietnam. My impression is that the culture is very similar, minus the communist government (even during the coup apparently it was just life as usual, plus or minus a few armed police around the cities) and with more money. The essentials are much the same. People do not wear their pyjamas out on the streets here though, much to my disappointment.

My accommodation here is right near the university and as such is a little west of the city centre. I think (although I may be wrong) that it is a reasonably well-off part of town - lots of fairly large houses in good condition, large blocks of land, pretty clean and spacious really. Lots of you will know that I love love LOOOOVE Saigon, so I kind of liked heading into the middle of the city today and nosing around the more cramped, crowded pockets - more varied, more colourful, more bustling. Overall Chiang Mai is quite beautiful - the mountains are useful for this cause. I've not taken many photos yet but will attempt to rectify in the next few days. Have so far resisted taking pictures of everything I eat (if I did this it would mostly be to torment my mother anyway). Today I had lunch at the university. It cost me 15b (about 55 cents).

The other thing that has really stood out so far is the incredible reverence for the king. Everyone wears yellow t-shirts +/- the royal insignia, there are billboards and tributes everywhere. It's pretty cool, actually.

I've loved getting all your emails in the last couple of days, and this blog is getting quite a few more hits (what? you think it's more interesting now that I've actually left Australia?), so it's nice to know that people are interested. Plus my counter software tracks all the visiting IP addresses so I know who you all are, too. *stalker*

Blisters, toilet paper and the language barrier

2007-05-27T16:30:00.000+11:00

I arrived in Thailand in the early hours of this morning after a pretty pleasant flight - which I found surprising, but only because usually I hate flying. Too impatient. Anyway, the plane had screens on the backs of the seats so I watched Little Miss Sunshine, ate quite a decent green curry, then slept off most of the rest of the flight. Lucky I was tired - by the time I got to the airport last night the pharmacy was closed so my plan of bombing myself out was thwarted early.

The only annoying thing was that the hideous plastic shoes, which I was told by more than one person would be "sooooo comfortable and light!", gave me blisters. So they are in the bad books at the moment. Might have to persevere though, my shoe repertoire here is severely limited!

The three of us came to the tragic realisation that we really do look related; the offending "so comfortable" shoes

My room; the view from my balcony (hope the neighbours don't mind, I made sure there was noone in the shot!)

My first impressions? Well, the thing is - I don't think I have any yet. I got off the plane in Chiang Mai, met the person who was picking me up, and was whisked to my hotel/apartments/whatever with only a cursory stop at the 7-11 on the way. So I really don't know. What has struck me is the frustration at being unable to read/write/speak/understand the language. I think this is compounded by the fact that it sort of looks like Vietnam here, so I feel like I should be able to function fully on my own. Bring on the language classes, I have to become less pathetic!

But it is pretty green here. And there are mountains.

I'm in my room now - it's lovely, spacious, light and clean. PLUS there is cable internet, cable television (hurrah for BBC World and bad Thai soaps!). It is particularly satisfactory now that I have purchased toilet paper and a new SIM card for my phone, had a shower and eaten some lunch. It's just about time for a post-prandial nap, I think.

I haven't copped my first mosquito bite yet. Any takers on how long it'll be? I'm thinking, not long.

Lasts

2007-05-26T20:25:00.000+11:00

There are always firsts, and now I guess it's time for lasts - at least for the next little while. I'm leaving for the airport in 40 minutes after a mad day. Now that I'm just about all packed and set, I'm feeling a bit wistful and pensive - probably pretty much par for the course, I guess.

I spent my last night in town with an old friend - dinner and wine at a lovely restaurant, followed by Mahler. It doesn't get much better than that. I got home last night, and I felt lucky.

The phone has been ringing hot all day - excited friends wishing me well, promising to visit, telling me this will be amazing. Text messages from my new fellow volunteer friends, emails from others. I'm terrible at goodbyes. MQ came home this morning for a fly by visit before heading back for the debating grand final. He's crap at goodbyes too so we were crap together, laughed a bit, and waved to each other as he left in Mum's car. That was about it.

There have been so many huge changes in the last few months, it is hard to fathom how I ever got here. At the moment I kind of feel like I don't even really know where "here" is! But a new beginning can't be all bad - actually, it's exactly what I need.

So - a deep breath, and here I go.

I'll see you in Chiang Mai.

PANIC!!!

2007-05-23T19:16:00.000+11:00

It's official - I am leaving on Saturday.

I am leaving on Saturday.

Crisis averted!

2007-05-22T19:47:00.000+11:00

Yesterday started off well enough - had a good morning, then brunch with Angela (whose chicken pox spots have cleared up, hooray!). It was pouring with rain when I got home, which in hindsight I should have taken as an omen for what was to come.

I rang the powers that be to see if there was any news on Ernie, spoke to two of the PTBs and was left none the wiser (to be fair, it wasn't their fault either). I spent the afternoon undertaking the messy and pungent task of treating my clothes with permethrin, and then got a call from one the PTBs at 4:30. Here is a potted paraphrasing of the conversation that followed:

PTB: Hello Q, do you have time to talk?
Q: Yes of course [feeling vague sense of impending doom from the "we need to talk" vibe]
PTB: Unfortunately I don't have good news for you.
Q: Oh?
PTB: No, we've heard from the NGO but there's problem with one of the legal agreements. The lawyers are talking about it, but we're trying to work out a way to get around it. Plus your police check isn't through yet.
Q: Oh. Um. Okay. What does that mean?
PTB: Well what it means is that we have to...[insert protracted paragraph of mumbo jumbo involving lots of acronyms, names I didn't recognise, nebulous turns of phrase and very little actual information]...and then we just have to wait and see.
Q: Um. Okay. What is the worst case scenario?
PTB: Well, obviously the worst case scenario is that you don't go.

[cue internal brain explosion]

So poor Nome and Mon had to put up with my furious/frustrated/disappointed rantings last night over Malaysian takeaway and cab sav (must say, ranting is much more pleasant with good food and wine), we watched Desperate Housewives (which I have never watched before), and then I went home to an annoyed sleep.

This morning a rep of the PTB rang and told me that it was all miraculously sorted, that he hadn't thought it would be (yes - I could tell. You could have just said so.) and that now as soon as the Feds get my check done, it's hellooooo, Chiang Mai!

Naturally my first thought was, "Excellent, now I can buy a digital camera."

Anyway, so I spent most of today cooped up in the house in an attempt to begin packing. God it is DULL. How many pairs of long pants do I need? I reckon 3. Mum reckons 4. I can only find 2 that are suitable. When was the last time I had insufficient clothing for my needs?

If I ever actually make it to Chiang Mai, this is where I'm supposed to be staying:

Mildly compound-like from the outside, but the inside looks pretty good. Apparently there is high speed internet and air conditioning, so it's much plusher than anywhere I've stayed in SE Asia before!

After the horrors of Sunday morning, it was comforting for me to discover that Phil and George also had hangovers from hell. Makes it sound like a little club, actually. Much more cool than being the sad chick who can't hold her drink (which I can! I CAN, damn you!).

Chocolate, cows, wine and cards

2007-05-20T21:07:00.000+11:00

I left Orange on Friday and spent the evening with Belinda in Sydney. We nattered for a couple of hours and then went out for a boozy girly chatty food-ful night out. Here is a summary of the night's notables:

The place we went to used to be a strip club. The poles are still intact downstairs.
One of the hostess people was wearing this dress that I have wanted for ages, but she wore it so badly that it killed my desire (boring for all of you, but exciting for me)
Alex Dimitriades (you know, the Heartbreak Kid guy) sat at the table next to us with his tall and glamorous girlfriend who looks like a drag queen
Whoever wrote the cheese menu deserves a Pulitzer. We ate one cheese that was the "Ancestor of Brie" and another one which was apparently super duper special because only one certain breed of French cow is "authorised to produce the milk" for it. I kid you not. See the pics below. Could you pick a cheese made from the milk of an unauthorised, fraudulent cow?
The chocolate dessert Belinda had was unbelievable - basically a football sized round pocket of puff pastry which, when stabbed, OOZED hot dark chocolate ganache. Seriously, there must have been 400g of chocolate in that thing. See pics.

We had every intention of being in bed by midnight. This did not eventuate. Must remember (for future reference) that 4 hours' sleep is really not enough and makes flying even more blah than usual.

I backed up and had my farewell drinks last night. This morning I felt quite a lot worse for wear. In fact, I think it was the first proper hangover of my adult life. How do people do this every week? I spent the morning longing, longing, longing for death.

On the bright side, I thought the red slapper dress worked quite well in the end.

Also on the bright side, it was a lot of fun. There were party pies and pinot noir (and pinot noir and pinot noir and then sticky...the thought is making me feel ill), card tricks (no sorry - illeewwwwwsions), the three Jesses (is that the correct plural of "Jess"?) were all there, and my and Phil's plans for our palatial Wongbong North abode crystallised a little further. We had a little secluded corner of the Supper Club to ourselves. I hit the wall around 3 and fell asleep in the taxi on the way home. Not bad for an old spinster on 5 hours of sleep!

Now that I've had my farewell drinks, it would be nice to know when I'm actually leaving. That's a HINT, Ernie.

The national schools' debating comp kicked off today. MQ is in the Victorian team - GO M! How can someone who says so little at home have so much to say in public?

Fog

2007-05-16T13:12:00.000+11:00

So I'm back in sunny Orange. My flight from Sydney was pretty delayed because of the massive fog (pic from http://www.smh.com.au/) but other than that it's been pretty uneventful. I'm doing a lot of on call. Blah.

Time is galloping away under my nose while I'm here, away from the hustle and the practicalities of life in Melbourne. I'm still trying to get stuff done and finish up things that need finishing before I leave, but it's always that little bit harder from far away. I'm hoping there won't be too much when I get back, but it's always hard to know. I'm sure it will be a whirlwind of frantic errands and last minute organisational crap. Ugh.

I still haven't decided what "skill" to teach to the other aid workers at the briefing yet. I NEED IDEAS, PEOPLE.

Youse have not been commenting on my last few posts anyway. I know youse are perusing this blog so WHERE ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

Anyhoo, I don't have too much that's interesting to add. I was watching Insight last night (did anyone else see it? Always interesting to watch the alcohol lobby vs the drug and alcohol specialists. Like Thank You For Smoking, only less interesting and the people are older and fatter.) and have since arranged to consume my allocation of standard drinks tonight with some of the Orange gang.

I'm still cut up about Eurovision. Who do you think should have won?

EDIT: For once, I agree with Jeff Kennett.

Tying up loose ends

2007-05-13T10:38:00.000+11:00

It's been a busy weekend so far. Lots of running around yesterday, getting some pressing things done with a couple of girlfriends and then at the end of the day, collapsing in Nome's new pad with pizza, pinot, ice cream and chocolate. Moving is exhausting! I'd been dreading yesterday for some time and so it is a relief to have it done.

The night before we glammed up and went out for dinner at a swanky restaurant for Mon's birthday. The food was fabulous but the entrees were so enormous that we could barely finish our mains (and in fact I couldn't - unheard of), let alone even think about dessert. Then we went to my favourite late-night establishment where the others, sadly, vetoed my idea of party pies (different stomach for party pies, you see) but we did scoff the delicious choc-coated almonds and drink some sweet stuff.

This afternoon I'm off to Sydney to catch up with Margie (and try to watch Eurovision) and then I'm working in central NSW for the week. By the time I get back it will be mega-headless chook time, I suspect. I'll have to make some lists during the week; I don't really like making lists but it does make rushed packing a bit easier.

Zimbabwe finally got some mainstream news coverage yesterday, but only because the Aussie cricket team are boycotting the tour. There are several levels of stupidity to this. #1 - that one of the reasons given by people opposing the boycott are along the lines of, "Well if WE don't go to Zimbabwe, no other cricket teams will go either!". Who gives a stuff??? #2 - for insightful political comment about the situation, the commercial news channels consulted erudite, articulate, politically astute commentators. Like Tony Greig. #3 - why why WHY does it have to involve sport before Australians even get a sniff of what's going on? #4 - as if boycotting a cricket tour will make even an iota of difference to Robert Mugabe. HE'S A DESPOT, PEOPLE. I am just as enraged as the next person about Zimbabwe, but it's not about a cricket tour. I wish Thabo Mbeki would grow a spine about it. That said, it's pretty questionable whether cutting off most of Zimbabwe's say, electrical supply (as Mbeki could do) (on a side note, did Mandela really endure everything he did and make the sweeping changes he did in order for Mbeki to sit on his hands?), would make any difference in a country where the government makes the law (regardless of what the law says) and horrendous human rights abuses have been perpetuated for the last 20 years.

EDIT: I'm watching Eurovision as I type this. I just wanted to capture the moment for posterity. We love Ukraine (but why were they singing in German?), Sweden (the bare chest, the gothic makeup, the dinky moves, the sequins), Belarus (how did those dancers stick to those screens?), Latvia (top hats, jackets, roses and...jeans?), UK (channelling Hi5 and also adding in some semaphore for good measure). Best English lyric of the night - "Leave me alone, I wanna go home" (courtesy Finland, trying to look like Evanescence). I also thought Romania were pretty cute. Ngy, you MISSED OUT. I hope you caught some on YouTube.

43 is the new 1

2007-05-11T16:50:00.000+11:00

Today it's been confirmed that Jose Ramos Horta has won the East Timor presidential elections with about 70% of the vote. It's not that surprising, although perhaps the fact that Dili is apparently fairly quiet is. Here's something unsurprising: following on from my ranting post about world news and the Australian media a week or so ago, I would like to inform you all that this news (which keep in mind is in "our" region, has involved "our" men, and thus is "relevant" to us as "Australians") made its grand entrance on page 43 of the Herald-Scum. Bless. No wonder there are so many people wandering around who don't know that Liberia is a country. Or is it Libya? Are they the same?

Anyway, here's a better quality article about the story.

I've spent most of today running around trying to get annoying errands finished, and I think I've mostly managed it - finished my immunisations, bought travel stuff (mosquito net, permethrin, antibiotics, blah blah blah), dropped the last of my pre-departure paperwork in, popped up to the hospital to talk to the powers that be about what jobs I should go for next year, had a bit of a chat to a few people. That sort of thing.

Now my main tasks are to try and consolidate all my stuff into boxes properly for storage over the next 8 months and also to tie up all the loose ends with my furniture tomorrow. And then I'll be just about set to close one chapter of my life, and move onto the next! All that will remain will be to pack, steel myself, go to the briefing, and leave. Simple, really (- right?).

I am now in possession of an enormous kit of medical supplies. 7 months of antimalarials, and similarly a whole heap of other drugs to counteract the side effects of those antimalarials. Sigh. I hate taking medications - not because I have any issue with taking stuff, but more because it involves remembering to do something regularly.

Doxy and DEET - my friends (or foes?) for the rest of 2007

It was weird popping in at work today, seeing all those familiar wards, corridors and faces. I feel a bit removed from it - which I suppose makes sense since it's been nearly 4 months since I last worked there. Talking to the boss lady about jobs and training options for next year, I was struck by how detached I felt from it - it just feels so far away, almost an impossibility. Do I want to do specialty jobs or gen paeds jobs? Do I want more stress or less responsibility? How many weeks of x, y or z have I done already? I kind of felt like I didn't really care, but I know that one day (not even that far away) I will, so I tried to listen carefully and ask lots of questions that I know I'll eventually want the answers to.

I just can't help feeling that there is a massive mountain to scale, and that all of that practical/training/future stuff is somehow in the valley on the other side, obscured from view by the mountain. All my curiosity, motivation and drive is focused there at the moment, but I suppose it is wise to put things in place so that when I come back, disoriented and jolted back into the old reality, it's all ready to roll so that I don't have to think about it.

Thaivision

2007-05-10T10:09:00.000+11:00

It's almost that time of year again - the Eurovision final is on Sunday night! I hope you are all planning wildly enthusiastic Eurovision parties. I will be eating pizza and gluing myself to the screen at Margie's house. Can't wait. Although I have to say, nothing has quite matched the year that Turkey won (with that girl who was like a Turkish Shakira) but was nearly pipped at the post by that weird pseudo-Gothic hippie ambient new age Belgian group with the bizarre hand actions (Ngy you will remember this...we got a lot of mileage out of that hand-dance!).

The UK's entry this year is called SCOOCH. I don't know about you, but I don't have much faith that they will break the UK's annual tradition of being TRAGIC at Eurovision.

In other news, I got an email from the "mobilisation team" at AVI about the pre-departure brief. Apparently I have to bring a "teaching skill" with me, something that I can teach the other 23 volunteers in 5 minutes. I hate these exercises, I think they're lame. Plus we had to do them at this teaching workshop at work (back when I had a paying JOB and all of that). Any ideas? (Keep it above board, please!).

Anyway, so the other volunteers are going to PNG, Vanuatu, Thailand (I think there are 3 of us), Vietnam (lucky buggers), Malawi and Cambodia. I'm kind of looking forward to this briefing business (apart from the teaching thing). Should meet some interesting people. That said, I am still waiting for the IRC to officially confirm my appointment. That hasn't stopped them from already asking if I can extend my assignment to 12 months. (I said no; I'm sure by the end I'll wish I could stay but there is the small matter of coming back here to start working, studying and generally getting off my paediatric backside and getting somewhere with my career. Sigh.).

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH MY TRAVEL ITINERARY JUST GOT SENT TO ME 1 MINUTE AGO.

I am terrified!

Asymptomatic

2007-05-07T12:24:00.000+11:00

Yesterday Tom (who is 7) came for his violin lesson with lots of questions about what I'm doing and where I'm going. We talked about what refugees are, why they have to run away from their homes, and why sometimes they can't return even after a long time. He also wanted to see where I was going, and in fact this is a question I've been asked quite a lot. So here is a map:

(Pic from TBBC website - http://www.tbbc.org)

The northernmost province is Mae Hong Son Province, and there are two camps there - Mae Surin and Ban Mai Nai Soi (red dots). I'll be based in Mae Hong Son (the town) and will be training refugee health workers from both those camps. Here are some pictures of MHS and the surrounding north-west hills region for you to peruse:

Pretty green and lush, hey? I'm told it's one of the most beautiful areas in Thailand. It's also one of the most malarious areas - obviously my friend Anopheles likes lush greenery too. I've been on planes quite a bit recently (as some of you would know) and each time it's been really striking just how brown everything is. So MHS will be a nice change. Rainy, too.

I'm just in the process of tying up some loose ends in Melbourne, then next week I'll be off interstate again to work a few last hurrah shifts (and to check out Orange Nat's plumped lips). By the time I get back there will possibly be just a handful of days until Ernie (pending the Feds), of which half will be pre-departure briefing (although I'm still hoping to get to the MSO Prokofiev Sinfonia-Concertante/Mahler 4 concert). So even though it feels like time is dragging and that I'm not getting anywhere, in reality it's passing pretty quickly and probably before I know it, I'll be getting off a plane in Thailand and stepping into the great unknown.

Someone much wiser than I told me today that the way I'm feeling about it (talking about it a lot but feeling like it's happening to someone else) is not uncommon for people who are stepping into a situation which is largely unknown. He drew the analogy (for all you medical types) of disease vs. illness - disease being the abstract fact and illness being the experience of the disease. He said it was just like having subclinical disease and said, "Quynh - you're asymptomatic of going away!"

What I am symptomatic of is getting ever older. How did I ever pull all-nighters in my whippersnapper days? A couple of big nights over the weekend and my whole musculoskeletal system protests for days and I end up with a cold. Ugh. Youth, do not forsake me yet! Please tell me this happens to you, too.

I finished Where We Have Hope today (for people who haven't read my old posts, it's a journalist's memoir of 23 years spent living and working in Zimbabwe) - I thoroughly recommend it! I have read quite a few books in the last couple of months and it was by far the most gripping, inspiring and illuminating. I've started another journalist's memoir now - by a Norwegian journo in Iraq. Will report back once I've read enough to have an opinion.

Ben bought half a boat

2007-05-05T10:33:00.000+11:00

Here's a picture of Ben's half-boat; I don't know which half is his and I was hoping for a side-on shot but still - there it is and it needs a name. (Don, I don't know that your suggestion will make it - care to try again?)

As for me, I've spent the last 3 days shut in the house, supposedly to write the essay I mentioned in my last post, but in reality I procrastinated a lot and it eventually got done mostly yesterday in the end. Despite my reluctance to actually write the thing (and many of you will be able to vouch for my general lack of a work ethic when it comes to study), this was a great paper to write because the topic is so relevant to what I'm heading overseas to do. So I've built up a good amount of rage and motivation about it over the last few days, always the sign that I'm getting into something.

Meanwhile, I'm not getting very much planning done for Ernie. I'll have to get most of it done in the next week because I'm heading interstate again the week after to work again. In any case, I don't need to take much with me, do I? Really? Mostly books and mosquito nets and a couple of changes of clothing, iPod, laptop...I think Asia is a good place to travel really light.

This post is not very interesting, I can't remember any of the things that I thought of over the last couple of days that made me think, "Oh - I should write that in my blog!". I blame Tomoko for encouraging me to eat dessert last night, so that when I got home I felt SO. SICK. and spent a good part of the night groaning. Ugh.

Incidentally, the restaurant we went to last night only has full-cream milk. I don't know whether this extends to the exclusion of soy milk as well, but that's the second restaurant in Melbourne I've been to that has such a policy. I don't mind it, but then again that's because a) I can't drink milk anyway, and b) if I could, I'd drink full-cream. What do you guys think? (Great Questions Of Our Time, #423)

How do we get over the apathy?

2007-05-02T12:48:00.000+11:00

Today I'm at home, trying to start an essay about internally displaced people in Burma. I've left it pretty late (it's due Friday, ugh) but now I've got some articles, and have started reference stalking (you know, when you find one paper, and then stalk more papers through the references, then through the references of the reference, and so on. Before I start big essays, I always think "Oh, 3000 [or 5000 or whatever] words is so much - how am I going to do this?", but inevitably once I've started researching I start to wonder, "God, 3000 words - how am I going to say anything?"

That said, I've not written anything yet so it is early days. Sigh.

Reading more about Burma and the atrocious inequities and human rights abuses that exist there brings up the realisation (again) that I know squat about very little, even though I like to think I'm interested in international health and development. I am barely scratching the surface of one country's crises and yet I know there are tens more that I know nothing about, and that would make me feel just as angry and impassioned - most of Africa, for example. I have sometimes wondered whether Australia's geographic isolation helps create something of a fog of ignorance about these issues - maybe they're just too far away? But the information is so accessible now on the web - so it really comes down to a lazy mind and a mouth that's disproportionately big. That said, how much of this stuff really gets covered in the mainstream press here? Let's be honest, most people will read maybe one or two newspapers a day and watch a news program or two. World news gets relegated to about page 12 or 14 in the major papers here and even then it's all compressed onto two or three pages of broadsheet (or, in a curious feat of inverse proportionality, one or two pages of tabloid - gotta love the Herald-Scum.). I don't know much about the media world in Australia but the editorials don't tend to make much of a fuss about these international issues - too far away? too "irrelevant" to Australians? too hard? Australia too small?

I don't know the answers. If you do, please feel free to enlighten in the comments section!

So I resolve to do what I resolved to do months ago (resolutions are not my strong suit) and to read a few articles each day from ReliefWeb, or Human Rights Watch, or Refugees International. I've done this intermittently in the past and I'd like to make it part of my daily routine. Every now and then I find myself in a flurry of information grabbing and hungry reading eg. about Sudan a little while ago, or Liberia before that, Zimbabwe and Burma now - but I'd like a broader perspective on things.

Child soldiers, high maternal and infant mortality, HIV, TB, malaria, nearly half a population with no access to proper sanitation, torture, rape, human trafficking, malnutrition, anti-personnel landmines, daily internal conflict between a military junta that nobody wanted and dozens of ethnically diverse militias - just life for the people I will be working with when I go. To think that it won't be confronting, shocking, horrifying, would be pretty foolish.

And then here I am, trying to work out the vagaries of duty free shopping to see if I can claim back tax on shoes.

Hmmmm. Maybe I should have been a violinist, then I probably wouldn't think about health and politics so much, and I wouldn't be able to afford shoes. Two birds with one stone.

On a slightly less self-conflicted note, I've been talking to Ange about her plans for Laos - so exciting! The really nice thing is being able to share the thoughts and the plans and the anticipation with someone who wants to do something in a related vein. Now, if only Ernie seemed real...

And lastly, but not leastly, Ben needs a name for his new half-boat! Well, it's a whole boat but he half-owns it. Apparently it is small (4.5m long or something?), has a motor and is blue. When Ben sends me a photo (hopefully SOON Benny!) I will post it up here and you can all suggest away!

Must ALL men be uncertain?

2007-04-30T19:19:00.000+11:00

So even ERNIE is unsure of exactly when he is going to arrive. I marched up to the AVI office today to hand in my passport (gulp! no escaping now!), visa application and other assorted paper paraphernalia that needed filling out. Afterwards I spoke to the person who does all the "mobilising" and apparently the federal police check can take anywhere between 2 and 6 weeks! So Ernie might arrive a bit late, which is sort of disappointing but this kind of "liquid time" seems to be the way that the aid world works in general. I'd better adapt.

Ate the best char kway teow in Melbourne today with Don and gasbagged for a while. Had a very varied and leisurely coffee with Marz later in the afternoon. I got kissed twice (on the cheek! on the cheek!) by a cheerful middle-aged guy who may be very good friends with the bottle, claimed to have been a champion boxer, saying "Stan the Man and Terry Austin are my family" (who are they? we didn't know) and tried very hard to show Marz how to start a fight and kill a person with one's elbow. "Just nudge them...and then go, 'Ya wanna fight?'" (imagine this in very slurred tones). He also showed us two very nice holes in the armpits of his t-shirt.

Earlier in the day I went to the travel clinic and got two more needles. I found out that I don't have latent TB (ok; so tell me something I didn't know already) and thankfully that I do not need even more needles apart from the two I have next week. I've got just those jabs to go, need to take my trial of doxy (malaria) and pick up a travel kit (I'm planning to wander around Thailand in a fog of DEET and permethrin...mmmm. Appealing! I also found these weird, almost whole-body mosquito nets on Ebay, sort of like an apiarist's suit but possibly even stranger - I'm thinking these might alienate me from the locals somewhat though). Then it's just a matter of going to the pre-departure briefing and then waiting for Ernie to grace me with his presence.

Ernie being indecisive also has the flow-on effect of delaying the duty-free shopping, much to my chagrin. I spent some time today looking at digital cameras before my buying aspirations went up in a puff of federal police smoke. Bloody men.

I have started a new book today about a journalist who spent 20 years in Zimbabwe, from the time of independence (1980) until a few years ago. Now that I'm going somewhere I am obsessed with reading books about people who have gone overseas to work in aid or journalism or development - I want to say, "I do that too!", only I don't yet. Bummer. Anyway, the book is called Where We Have Hope and it's buy a guy called Andrew Meldrum who writes for The Guardian. I'm only about 30 pages in but it's looking like a great read. If anyone else has other suggestions for me to read, pop it in a comment after this post.

Edit:

Since this entry mentions "bloody men", I thought it was apt to insert this here:

How does the man look at himself in the mirror in the mornings?? What I like best (more than the video itself, because I can't watch it, too cringe-inducing!) is the tags on this clip - George bush Malaria dance africa fool idiot stupid president united states America usa us.

That just about sums it up, really.

The carriage turned into a pumpkin

2007-04-28T21:54:00.000+11:00

I'm back from Perth - had such a good time, it was so sunny and relaxing, and I ate so much food and drank heaps of amazing wine. Must be abstemious for the rest of the week now. Chris and Aggie were the perfect hosts with the perfect cats (Hello Lola! Hello Louis!) and it was wonderful to be away from Melbourne for a few days again. I have always loved Melbourne and have never really wanted to live anywhere else, but currently I am finding that I'm better away from home than at home; I'm very easily swayed into fanciful ideas about moving cities at the moment. I suppose I will be moving cities soon enough. 4 weeks today.

(from left: caught off-guard looking quite interleckshual; the illusion of sobriety is shattered; gorgeous Aggie gets festive! Pics courtesy of the lovely Kym.)

I can't quite believe that I'm back already and that those 4 days of fun and frivolity actually happened. A bit Cinderella, I suppose - only more middle-aged and haggard. Had a fantastic (and glam) girls' night out last night and this morning I didn't have a hangover, but my muscles and joints were really stiff! Old old, so old.

Anyway - so I am beginning to think that I won't really get properly back on track until I've left already. That's not very far off any more, so the idea of treading water a little longer is tolerable. In the meantime I just want to see as many people as possible, not go shopping, read some books, get myself organised. In different circumstances I think I'd be trying to soak up as much of Melbourne as possible but hmmm. Not this time. Melbs and I can resume our love affair when I get home. That is if I haven't fulfilled Orange Nat's prophecy that I will meet a UN humanitarian type with an itinerant, humanitarian lifestyle, and that we will have a blissfully humanitarian whirlwind love affair and then travel the world humanitarianly adopting random children of similar ages from developing countries with complete disregard for the cultural appropriateness thereof, a la Angelina et Brad.

Tragically, I think this latter scenario is Unlikely.

Gosh I am tired. It's only 7pm in Perth, but fortunately it's almost a respectable bedtime here.

I am going to get a cat when I get back from Thailand. Louis and Lola have inspired me; so much joy in two little furry silky bundles!

Rich hippies and the plural of "papoose"

2007-04-26T22:48:00.000+11:00

I spent the day in Fremantle today. It struck me as ironic that I was walking around Freo just a few months after Karina left, when I never came west whilst she was living here - such is life, I guess!

Freo is a weird mix of rich hippies, bona fide bohos and just plain rich people. Some guy wearing striped pants, dreadlocks and an Akubra cycled past me in the mall and said, "Noice boots!". I was sitting near the town hall at the "village market" and there were a whole heap of well-off young mothers with their faux-boho babies and papooses (papeese?) - including one woman who had her baby in the papoose with his face squished up against her bare breast while she walked around and talked to someone about auras and aromatherapy. I guess it was about ease of access.

I am eating enormous - and I mean enormous - amounts here. Must be the clean Perth air (and being away from Melbourne!). I had two lunches today; that's probably a bit excessive, really.

Tomorrow evening is a big night out with the girls - bubbles, dresses, gossip and heels. Should be fun. Aggie is worried she'll have to stay back late at work so we have been hatching schemes to avoid this possibility!

Amanda Vanstone has been appointed the new ambassador to Italy. Don't think there's any danger of her behaving in a culturally appropriate manner. No matter how much life changes, some things stay the same - I reckon the 'Stone's ahem, tact-challenged approach might be one of those things. On the subject of talentless/tactless/painful politicians, how about Dubya's truly cringeworthy dancing and African drum-beating today? Malaria Awareness Day? What's malaria, George?

One month exactly until Ernie. Bring on the duty free shopping.

The importance of shoes

2007-04-25T22:51:00.000+11:00

I'm in Perth - so spent some more time on planes and at airports for good measure. The lovely Aggie and equally lovely Chris met me at the airport and I'm reclining on my bed in their spare room with wireless internet and a warm, curled up black cat (Louis) at my feet. It feels good.

Little practicalities about Ernie are slowly creeping into my mind. Things like - what shoes will I wear in Thailand? (always the essential question in any situation!) - should I buy a double or single mosquito net? - do they wear masks and gloves like they do in Vietnam? So if my mind is being distracted occasionally by those thoughts, there must be a part of my brain that is registering it somewhere.

We had a lovely boozy lunch today. Perth is pretty much as I remember it - laid back, sunny and clean. It was particularly laid back today, being a public holiday. Being in a new place again, away from home with different people reminds me - and I need frequent reminders of this - that the world is much bigger than my little Melbourne bubble and the problems contained therein, and as such it exists to be entered and discovered. So many people to meet, so little time.

On a lighter note - I packed quite excessively for this little sojourn. 4 days, 3 nights, 5 pairs of shoes, 6 dresses and so on. To optimise use of this travel wardrobe I think I'd have to change outfits 3 times a day. Old habits die hard.

I forgot to mention Daniel Kitson in yesterday's post. I went to see him on Monday night with Mon and Naomi; I expected (and was hoping for) the usual mix of cynicism, morose self-deprecation, amazing vocabulary, bittersweet reflections, whimsy and a lot of laughs. In fact this year's show was much less cynical (could even describe past shows as a bit nihilist, really) and to be honest I was a little disappointed by that at first. Partly because that old dark mix would have been perfect for my general state of mind at the moment. In the end it was still a great evening. He was still very, very funny. He still said some achingly sad and funny things about love and loss. He is still my favourite comedian.

The Pies beat Essendon in the Anzac Day stoush today. Must be the start of a new era.

I like grainy bread

2007-04-24T16:34:00.001+11:00

Today I'm sore everywhere. Damn immunity. I also went out wearing particularly stupid heels for daytime (why? who needs a reason?) and they rubbed my feet. I'm thinking this is not what Monsieur France had in mind when talking about dying in one life to enter the next. My feet are certainly sore, though.

Apart from that, not much to report; I'm going to Perth tomorrow and listening to a lot of Keith Jarrett. That probably about sums it up. I feel like I'm spending most of my time at the moment trying to run away from myself. It'll be good when Ernie arrives and I run towards something.

I've been reading some of the pre-departure reading that AVI sent out, a lot of it is reiterating stuff that was covered in the refugee health course I did earlier in the year but it will be good to have it reinforced. Somehow I think it'll have much more immediacy this time, it will feel more relevant and close to home. (Der). On their website they have photos up of all the volunteers they've briefed over the last 6 months - they look like a mixed, happy, relaxed bunch. I looked at those pictures and wondered what those people are like, what they think of what they do and how they felt before they went. I wonder if in 6 months' time someone will look at my pre-departure brief photo and wonder the same thing about me?

Yeah, yeah. Probably not.

I wonder if I'll have a moment of terror when I think, "What am I leaving behind?"? Maybe not. What am I leaving behind? A job that I know I love, great friends, great family, a personal life in disarray, a city I love sullied by memories I don't want, everything that I know. What am I heading towards? A big fat load of I-don't-know, but what I do know is that it will be different, challenging and new. Why do I keep wondering about this bollocks? The fact is that I'm going, and I'll find out what it is when I get there. Toughen up, sweetie. Off with Bic Runga, on with Supergrass.

I had a particularly good toasted sandwich on extremely grainy bread for lunch (which I had with the lovely Bess). There's a positive thing about recent changes in my life - grainy bread is back in, baby.

Volunteer voodoo

2007-04-23T15:48:00.000+11:00

I had my pre-departure medical today. I tried very hard to be a good patient and did everything I was told. Apparently I seem completely physically well. Which I kind of knew, but it's nice to be told by someone else who has lots more letters after their name than I do.

Afterwards I got to have 4 vaccinations and a blood test, so it was all fun in Camp Quynh today. Hopefully my immune system is busily making antibodies to the following as I type;

Japanese encephalitis
Rabies
Flu
Typhoid

The travel doc and I were talking about how much I get bitten by mosquitoes and about all the lovely things I'll catch because of that. Basically, it looks like I'll get malaria and die.

Reminder to self: buy vats of permethrin. And steroids.

I've got two more lots of jabs to go and then I should basically become a walking repository of humoral immunity. Yeah, baby. Although apparently the occasional unfortunate person has the JE vaccine and then keels over and dies of anaphylaxis like, a week later. They gave me a red piece of paper that explains this to whoever is around to give me medical attention if this happens. You'd kind of hope they'd just work out that I needed adrenaline and not fuss too much with the reason why, right? "Oh hello, look at this puffy, red, swollen person who can't breathe - ooooooh, Japanese encephalitis vaccine. Isn't that interesting?"

Anyway. Gee my arms are sore. Typical sooky doctor, that's me.

I'm beginning to think that Ernie is not really going to sink in before he arrives. I think in the end he will probably just gallop up and knock me almost unconscious with shock and terror and OHMYGODWHATAMIDOING??? at the airport.

More importantly, though - I need to work out where to have my farewell drinks bash. Ideas, anyone?

Oh - one more thing. I found this Anatole France quote on another aid worker's blog today and quite liked it:

"Tous les changements, même les plus souhaités, ont leur mélancolie, car ce que nous quittons, c'est une partie de nous-mêmes; il faut mourir à une vie pour entrer dans une autre."

("All changes, even the most longed-for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; one has to die in one life to enter another." Goodness my French is rusty.)

Beaker sings 'Feelings'

2007-04-22T16:20:00.000+11:00

I've been looking for this for a long time.

I'm not sure why I love it so much, but I do.

My life according to the Dandy Warhols

2007-04-22T12:42:00.000+11:00

A long time ago we used to be friends, but I
Haven't thought of you lately at all...

I am on a catching up with old friends rampage. Partly because my ego needs to be reminded that yes, once upon a time I did actually make friends, but mostly because these are friends and contacts who fell by the wayside largely because I was preoccupied with my Relayshunship. All these people probably think I'm weird and a bit desperate, but that's okay. I just want to see them and talk about music and life and whatnot. Yep, that old whatnot.

So a couple of them have already been texted/spoken to/emailed. I still have a little list up my sleeve - nobody is safe.

I know that I must be generally feeling better because I have put some weight back on and also because I am wishing I had stayed thinner. Damn. Damn Orange and food and wine and company and emotional recovery. Damn them all.

I now have 1 month and 4 days until Departure Day. Let's call it Ernie. 1 month and 4 days until Ernie. I hope I get excited about Ernie sometime soon. Everyone else is - even George is excited so this must be serious. I'll just wait for it to happen.

Stuck in the middle

2007-04-20T15:41:00.000+11:00

I’m spending a lot of time on planes and at airports at the moment. I’ve never particularly enjoyed flying – not because it freaks me out or anything, more just that I hate being between places; I want to be somewhere, not en route. And I hate waiting. But in some ways I guess that being “in between” is kind of fitting at the moment. I was reading a friend of a friend’s blog, a girl my age who moved to Laos over a year ago for an AYAD fellowship. I’ve been reading the entries she wrote in the weeks before she left – I guess because that’s where I am at the moment - and in many ways they kind of mirror my feelings about my own imminent departure.

She described wanting to stay behind, of wanting to be overseas already, of feeling like she was slowly and inexorably leaving her old life without any control over the process. I’m beginning to feel a bit like this. I’m not sure what I’ll do in Melbourne; things are in flux at the moment, neither here nor there. I’m not desperately despairingly wishing I was still in my old relationship – mind you, there is the odd evening here and there when I do still – but I’m not "properly" single. I’m not working any more, but I have a job to go to in 6 weeks. I’m not living in my own place but I don’t really have space to call my own at my parents’. This is as literally and figuratively itinerant as I have ever been.

I was having one of my “terrified” moments last week – about this upcoming move, that is – and a woman I know was telling me what her psychologist had told her about new and scary situations. She said that this new situation is neutral; because it hasn’t arrived yet it has not had the chance to be detrimental or be beneficial, it is absolutely neutral. It seems pretty logical, doesn’t it? My protective mechanisms must be on overdrive because when I think about It in terms of the “everyday” things – where will I live? what will I eat? who will I talk to? what will I do in my spare time? – it does sometimes feel a bit catastrophic. I guess in my heart of hearts I know that I’ll be all right but wow, that panic spiral comes on quickly!

But panic aside, it boils down to this: now that I know that I have a new life to go to, I'm just impatient for it to start.

What this is all about

2007-04-19T13:28:00.000+11:00

I suppose I should set the scene a little to cover the miniscule possibility that I haven't already spoken to you (whoever you are) and burst out with, "OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT I AM DOING THIS YEAR?" etc.

I've been offered - and accepted - a job as a medical trainer on the Thai-Burmese border, teaching new community health workers from two refugee camps. I'm not sure exactly what this will involve yet, but it sounds like it's going to be quite busy, and then I'm hoping to pick up some clinical work as well, either in the camp health centres or in one of the centres in town. We'll see; my medical defence organisation is happy to cover me for that clinical work but I'm waiting to hear from my employer. The photo on the right is of the region where I'll be living and working. One of the camps is mostly Karen, the other is mostly Karenni. For those of you unfamiliar with Burma/Myanmar, it's one of the most ethnically diverse (and sociopolitically corrupt) countries in Asia, with over 100 ethnic groups recognised. Have a look at Wikipedia's Myanmar page for a bit of a general overview.

It all starts with 5 weeks of learning Thai in Chiang Mai (I've never been to Thailand but everyone I know who has, loves Chiang Mai) before I head off to the border. I think I might take another course whilst I'm there, maybe meditation or relaxation or something (whoops; when typing "meditation" just then, I typed "medication" instead!). Hopefully I'll also meet some interesting people, eat great food, have a bit of a look around, shake off some of my general apprehension.

At the moment life is in a bit of upheaval, so this all seems a bit distant and crazy still. I'm not leaving (or being "dispatched", as they say) until the end of May, so there's a while for it to sink in there and even if it hasn't hit me by the time I leave, well - I have 7 months to process it all.

I'm not sure what to do with my last month in Melbourne. I'm still torn between spending as little time in Melbourne as possible (due to other - ahem - issews) and trying to see my friends and family as much as possible. I've got loads of things to organise, which I think is a good thing as I need something to focus on. I'm locuming in central NSW at the moment but I don't plan to work again after this week. I'm thinking that I'll have enough to fill my time. I hope.

Who said Friday the 13th was unlucky?

2007-04-13T19:18:00.000+11:00

Dear Dr Nguyen,

RE: INCLUSION TO AVI PROGRAMS

I write to confirm your inclusion to the AVI volunteer position of Medical Trainer with Committee for Coordination of Services to Displaced Persons Thailand.

As discussed, your final participation in the Volunteer Program is dependent upon the following conditions:

· Acceptance of your nomination by the overseas employer
· Procurement of your visa and work permits
· A satisfactory health report and criminal history check
· Satisfactory completion of the AVI pre-departure briefing

At this time, your departure has been scheduled for the month of May, 2007. The final departure date will be confirmed after completion of pre-departure requirements. We suggest that you do not end your current employment or make any irreversible decisions until you receive written confirmation of your assignment from AVI.

This pack contains several documents to assist you with your pre-departure requirements. The following page of this letter contains a checklist and guidelines for the use of each document. Please follow the checklist carefully and complete and return all necessary documentation to AVI as soon as possible.

A staff member from AVI will also contact you shortly to organise your attendance at the compulsory pre-departure briefing. Please advise if your contact details change or if any matters arise that may affect your participation in the program.

Congratulations on making it this far and good luck with your preparation!

Yours sincerely,

AUSTRALIAN VOLUNTEERS INTERNATIONAL