I like grainy bread

Today I'm sore everywhere. Damn immunity. I also went out wearing particularly stupid heels for daytime (why? who needs a reason?) and they rubbed my feet. I'm thinking this is not what Monsieur France had in mind when talking about dying in one life to enter the next. My feet are certainly sore, though.

Apart from that, not much to report; I'm going to Perth tomorrow and listening to a lot of Keith Jarrett. That probably about sums it up. I feel like I'm spending most of my time at the moment trying to run away from myself. It'll be good when Ernie arrives and I run towards something.

I've been reading some of the pre-departure reading that AVI sent out, a lot of it is reiterating stuff that was covered in the refugee health course I did earlier in the year but it will be good to have it reinforced. Somehow I think it'll have much more immediacy this time, it will feel more relevant and close to home. (Der). On their website they have photos up of all the volunteers they've briefed over the last 6 months - they look like a mixed, happy, relaxed bunch. I looked at those pictures and wondered what those people are like, what they think of what they do and how they felt before they went. I wonder if in 6 months' time someone will look at my pre-departure brief photo and wonder the same thing about me?

Yeah, yeah. Probably not.

I wonder if I'll have a moment of terror when I think, "What am I leaving behind?"? Maybe not. What am I leaving behind? A job that I know I love, great friends, great family, a personal life in disarray, a city I love sullied by memories I don't want, everything that I know. What am I heading towards? A big fat load of I-don't-know, but what I do know is that it will be different, challenging and new. Why do I keep wondering about this bollocks? The fact is that I'm going, and I'll find out what it is when I get there. Toughen up, sweetie. Off with Bic Runga, on with Supergrass.

I had a particularly good toasted sandwich on extremely grainy bread for lunch (which I had with the lovely Bess). There's a positive thing about recent changes in my life - grainy bread is back in, baby.